[Pandora94]

Hi.
I have been having a big problem with feelings of derealisation lately. I have been suffering from panic disorder on and off since I was 7 years old. I was diagnosed officially when I was 15. I have had long times with absolutely no panic symptoms.

But now my panic attacks are back with possibly the most hellish symptom of all: derealisation. Sweating palms, shortness of breath and a racing heart I could handle if it were just them, but it is derealisation that is once again making me a prisoner in my own home. If I am indoors I am fine, but when I´m outside I feel almost constantly like I´m "not there" and I keep thinking: "What if it's not just the anxiety? What if I´m psychotic or what if I have a brain tumor?" I mean, I know exactly what this, I just can't get through to myself.

I am an university student and I should continue my studies in September. I'm worried though, how am I supposed to study when I can't bear to go outside and walk or take a bus to school? I have successfully fought down anxiety many times in my life, but what if this is it? What if this time I can't do it? What if I have to give up on my studies and eventually I just end up in a psychiatric ward, talking to myself in a corner never quite present. Never quite there.

Are there other people with similar worries or symptoms on this forum? How are you dealing with it? Any tips on how to live with derealisation and manage it?
PS. Sorry for my weir language, English not my native tongue.

[Jolisse]

Hi Pandora,
I get the same symptoms when I'm having a panic attack, sometimes it's like I'm out of my body watching myself. I also see my arm as not attached to my body when I'm driving.
I've learned to accept that these things are the result of my panic.
Are you on any medication that helps with your anxiety?