Literally afraid of the sky

I've had this since childhood but it's gotten more excruciating to deal with as I've aged over the years. I have no way to explain it. I've never met or anyone else who describes it or has had to deal with it. Everyone I know thinks I'm "strange" for it. Here are some examples. I live in a country setting now and everything is very flat, very wide open. I feel like I am upside down when I look up or even walking/driving/sitting on the porch looking forward. I perceive north and south literally as up and down. As in if I am heading north or south down a road I feel like I am not weighted down by gravity and I actually have a physiological reaction to it. The only thing that has worked for me is when I was a heavy drinker, I no longer drink, or when I was on Librium. I am not going to get back into drinking and asking a Dr. for a specific type of medication is a no no. I've tried everything but it's more than a thought process to me. I can rationalize that I am not in fact about to fall off the face of the Earth but my body reacts to it. I get sick, I have to keep my head down, I have to rush into a store or somewhere when I am out sometimes just to get a second wind to go back out to where I am going to. Anyone?

This may sound dumb....but did you ever get your inner ear checked?

I get motion sickness very easily and it originates from your inner ear. When I went sky diving, I couldn't judge the horizon when I came down to land. When you sky dive watching the horizon when you land is how you land on your feet. Well, I face planted on the ground when I came out of the sky to land. It all comes from the inner ear is what I have been told by doctors. So, not saying that is what you are experiencing or that is your problem....but doesn't hurt to get it checked out.

Also, they think that is how JFK Jr. died. He couldn't tell the sky from the water and wasn't trained on reading whatever on the plane dashboard. It has a name but it slips me right now.

I saw an ENT a couple months ago. An MRI showed Right air cell mastoid occipification but when I went to the ENT doc, he didn't notice anything that required any treatment. Both my neuro and ENT decided that. I was on antibiotics for about a week and a half prior to seeing the ENT but I still have the same symptoms. Have since I was a kid but it's more overblown now.

Read about spatial disorientation. That describes you but on the ground. It is an inner ear problem that causes it. Check it out online.......

I have and I've even brought it up but no doctor has treated me for it. Even mentioned it to my ENT doc which was basically just a quick 10 min visit, in and out after an MRI review, and he said I'd need to talk to my neurologist about it.

Ok, you need to find yourself a Neurologist who will listen to you. Or, find yourself a dr. who deals with virtigo. A dr. who deals with that might be able to help you better. Even though it is not really virtigo (but could be - I am no dr. here) they have the knowledge to discuss things such as motion sickness, spinning world and other things of that nature. The spatial disorientation deals with several aspects of the body.....so someone who specializes in stuff like that would be the best bet.

Hopefully you find some relief. I know it's not fun - I told you I get serious motion sickness. I am a teacher and sometimes if I walk around my classroom and the desks too much - I am ready to puke and have to sit down. So, your symptoms I can just imagine how yuck it must be.