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#1
Oct 12, 2014, 04:16 AM
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[Edit: Can a mod please move this to OCD, I am sorry]
I am 23. I never had a job. Its not because of laziness or lack of motivation. When I was 17, I had POCD(Pedophile OCD) that interfered with my school work at the time and interfered with my friendships. I wanted to go to therapy and get it all resolved out. I did just that when I turned 21 only again to get a huge contamination fear along side with STD scare(not by sex or drugs). I have a fear of getting my family or other people infected by old myths that were stuck in my head and anxiety at the smallest chance that I have a horrible STD. I have to double check and triple check mentally to be sure that nothing had or would have happened when I touched something to continue my day. This is made worse with moist hands. I am taking medication and it seems to have lowered down a bit which is a good thing. However I still have the worry about other things and even have to do the double checking but it seemed to have slowed down how intense they were. However, no matter how much I try to convince my parents, they think I am just some lazy kid. I do admit that I stay in my room but I don't want to work everyday worrying if I end up poisoning someone. I do go out but its mostly for less than an hour and I have my hands on my bike handles most of the time. I hate it. I don't want to do it anyways because not only would I worry non-stop but I let it beat me over my parent's meddling. Call me prideful but I don't want to live like that. I refuse to let it sink my that low to have that be the way I live for my adult life. |
 kaliope
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#2
Oct 12, 2014, 06:16 PM
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I don't have ocd so I couldn't possibly understand, but it must be very difficult to live that way. you said you wanted to go to therapy.......have you been able to go yet? if not, make certain to get someone who specializes in ocd. I wasted a lot of time seeing someone who didn't know how to treat anxiety. it caused a lot of unnecessary suffering for me. now I have a specialist and things a much better.
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#3
Oct 12, 2014, 06:51 PM
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But you can't spread an STD through your hands.
__________________
"Re-examine all you have been told, dismiss what insults your soul." - Walt Whitman "Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." - Christopher Hitchens "I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience." - Mark Twain |
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