[Littleswan]

So I've never sought any support through an online forum, but I figured id give it a try. Im still in high school, and a female. Im going through a really hard time in my life right now. Im pretty much unable to connect with my peers on an emotional and intellectual level. I end up isolated and feeling defeated every time I try to get close to my peers. I'm not really an outcast, on the outside I appear to have a lot of friends and be a pretty sociable person. The problem is that I don't feel like I have anyone I can depend on. I think a lot of my problems stem from my low low low self esteem. I have a very hard time believing that anyone could ever see anything good about me. I have a lot of paranoia about other people and their motives. This scares me a little bit since extreme schizophrenia runs in my family and I worry a lot that I might have some traits of shizophrenia. One of my main issues is anxiety too. I go for weeks barely leaving my house because of all the anxiety I get about the world outside my front door. I miss crazy amounts of school too. My OCD goes hand in hand with my anxiety. I wouldn't say my OCD is super extreme but Its definitely getting worse as I grow older. Panic attacks are usually the result of something triggering my OCD. I have a great therapist but it just doesn't feel like enough. I feel really really alone a lot of the time. I feel like im not good enough for anyone. Any tips for dealing with loneliness? Or advice for my situation?

[Blue_Bird]

Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist? They may be able to help take the edge off your OCD and anxiety.

[i hate bipolar]

Im sorry to read what you are going through. I was like you when I went to highschool. Must say if I could go back i would focus on my studies rather than what people thought of me and being cool. Sorry I dont have anything better to say. Im going through a tough depression myself.

[CosmicRose]

I was like you in high school too, my only problem was social anxiety. Try to not focus on the other people in your family having mental problems because this will just freak you out even more. I'm pretty convinced my mom has something seriously wrong with her mentally and whenever I think about the possibility of inheriting whatever she has, it makes me feel a thousand times worse about myself. So anyone with anxiety doesn't need that extra pressure.
High school sucks. It sucks for everyone. There are thousands of movies based on just how bad high school sucks. Try to get through these short few years the best you can, because once you graduate, you'll never have to step foot on that campus again or see any of those people again. I'm 22 and my high school days literally feel like they happened sooo long ago. My senior year of high school I was homeschooled, but sometimes I wish I just stuck it out and kept going and graduated with everyone else.
Don't let high school ruin your experience. Make your experience worth it. And if you don't want to trust or socialize with anyone in class, then give yourself a day or two where that's okay. No one will really care, since everyone is thinking about themselves anyway.
Just have fun, as difficult as that sounds.
If someone says "What's wrong, why aren't you talking?" just say you have a headache or you're tired.