[CrystalSteph]

Hello all,

I have always generally been a nervous and shy person. Since I was a child I was always the quiet and shy girl. As I got older, I've improved. I am not nervous to the point where I won't dance in front of others and I've done a few things in front of a crowd of people (I wasn't by myself of course). But, when it comes to my full attention I can be a nervous wreck.

Back in high school all my oral presentations were almost ruined because of how nervous I would get, I would shake! Shake to the point where I would hear people say "why is she shaking" and to top it off, I'm quiet skinny so yes it's very noticeable.

Now, I am no longer in high school.. going back to college soon and I realized my nerves still strike nowadays in situations such as, having to talk to strangers, making eye contact even with people I am getting to know, when it comes to driving, when it comes to going out for a walk by myself, when I see a certain animal, driving, dealing with money,when angry, when I am afraid and the list goes on.

I am often very patient and calm but when I get nervous I just tend to shake ,panic and become negative (not sure if that's considered a panic attack actually). So, how do I usually calm down.. I take a deep breath and tell myself I am overacting. It does affect me because sometimes I am not myself because of the nervousness.

Sometimes I blame my parents, growing up they were very overprotective I was allowed to do much and would spent most of my time in my room or at home.. now in my 20's is where I am loosing up and doing,learning the things I should have before. Or can this be a nurture factor? I ask myself my mom is an extremely nervous person she never learned to drive etc. And one of my sister's is the same.

How can I control this? Someone recommended pills but I am no fan of pills and would rather meditate

[Altered Moment]

Meditation and relaxation techniques are probably better that pills although benzos are very effective. They have lots of problems though. I would say that probably the more you force yourself to go through uncomfortable situations the less nervous you will be. That would be much more true if it is a result of nuture and not nature.

[CosmicRose]

Same. In high school I would shake too, actually in the 6th grade I had a humiliating experience because I was shaking so much during a presentation and jumbled up my words! This like almost broke my self esteem. In high school I was so quiet and shy that some people even called me weird behind my back and eventually to my face.
I'm also in my 20s now, and its still a struggle.
Yes it might have to do with genetics, but only to a certain extent. Pills never helped me in the past and I've tried quite a few different ones. This is just something we have to overcome on our own and not rely on an outside substance.
The only thing that really helps is trying to not care so much about how others are perceiving you. When you feel the shaking coming on, try to stay as present as possible, riding out each second and savoring it instead of rushing past it and speeding up time like anxiety often does. Meditation does help me, if I meditate for thirty mins a day I feel better.
Healthy eating is also very important, because I'm almost certain that 95% of mood disorders or emotions have to do with the nutrition our brain is getting and whether or not we're meeting our vitamin needs. Stay hydrated too, shaking might even be a sign of dehydration because when you're nervous your body needs everything it can get because its burning energy faster with the whole fight or flight response ramping up.

[radioactive1]

I would be aware of those triggers and when you feel an attack coming on, try to step back from the situation. Then remind yourself you can handle whatever is causing you to stress.

[SecondSkin]

Something my therapist has told me, and I am trying to use outside of sessions, is to not judge what the body is doing. Whatever sensations you're feeling, just be aware of them, but don't judge them. Putting such hyper awareness on the fact that I'm shaking, that my hands are going numb, and damning my body for doing these things, only makes it worse. Let it happen. I know in a public place that seems like a terrible idea, and I've yet to master all that.
Another thing that has been extremely helpful for me is yoga. Not bikram (hot yoga) but slow flow or gentle vinyasa. Practicing this form taught my body how to calm down and breathe with my brain. It really helped teach me how to breathe, and be conscious of my breath. I know when I'm in a social situation I feel like I can't handle, I hold my breath... breathe very shallow. Doing yoga helped with that so much that there are very few social situations that I can't handle (still freak out inside sometimes but my body can stay calm).
I hope that helps!