[not quite right]

Now, I've been around this site for almost two years now. I've come to know a lot of people through chat and have considered this place a saving grace when I needed it most. Now, I've been seeing a psychiatrist and have been on a medicine regimen for some time. I guess my point is, I'm not getting any worse, but, I'm not getting any better either. Is that the best some of us can hope for? To stay at the level of insanity that's the lowest medicine can provide us with? With no hope of a better life? Not going forward, but, not slipping backward either. A life in pause. Not much of a life at all.

[CANDC]

Hi, I think we can find more than just resigning ourselves to our fate.

I think meds and therapy get us to a stable place where we can start building a life.

That can be different things for different people. What you want to express in your heart is important to discover. Creativity, working with people, teaching, nurturing. The list is long. Discovering your hidden talents is an art form.

A book that helped me is CALLINGS by Gregg Levoy. Tells how people discovered their own inner callings.

When you find the treasure in your heart all the past is only a foundation to build your life on.

[not quite right]

But, my reality is, I'm not going to get better. I don't have the luxury of finding my calling, and I'm old and tired. There's only down and sideways, I used up all my energy keeping my head above water, and I think what bothers me three most is that there's little emotion in my statements. I'm too used up to care anymore.

[CANDC]

I know that feeling. I really thought I was ready to die several times in my life.

Everyone finds their own reasons to reinvent themselves. Anything is possible. Rumi the 13th century poet put it this way

“At the end of my life, with just one breath left,
if you come, I’ll sit up and sing.”

You is this inner fire that is hard to explain.

Rumi says falling to pieces is the start of waking up to our true potential.

[CosmicRose]

Try not to have any expectations. Whether its to get better or get worse. Just release any expectations on yourself. That includes "staying this way" forever too. Everything changes and life is a balancing act. You need to do little things each day to boost your emotional states and moods. It's a constant task for everyone.
No hope for a better life? There is always hope, and that hope includes taking the time each day to tend to your emotions and actively making yourself feel better.
Imagine your mind as a garden. You need to prune, pluck, plant, mow, water that garden and maintain it to the best of your abilities. It's a daily task and it changes like the weather every day.
Some days there will be clouds in your garden, other days it'll rain, some days it will be sunny and other days there will be butterflies and rainbows in your garden.
Another analogy is the sea - some days it'll be calm sailing, other days it'll be rocky waves feeling like your boat's about to flip over.
But we do have some control on how we steer that ship. So no you won't always feel this way, and there is no guarantee either way. It's a step-by-step process and remember to take it a day at a time.
That's all we can do.