[Random_Girl_]

Okay, long story short I think I have social anxiety. Eye contact is out the window, I get flustered, sweat, shake and my voice trembles when talking to people I hardly know. Presentations are my worst nightmare and I have a pretty low self esteem :P. I also get derealisation...

(If you want more specific symptoms read below)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This affects every aspect of my life. Even small things like the way I sneeze - I have to be quiet or maybe someone will hear and say "bless you"... What if I have to reply and I mess it up, what if they sneeze later, do they expect me to say it back? Then my voice may quiver and they'll see how nervous I am. They will think I'm such a freak. Why would anyone be nervous because of that? What's wrong with me?


It affects me in the classroom. I have to know the answer to every question that the teacher asks because what if they ask me to answer it and I don't know the answer? I would look so stupid and pathetic. Or even worse, what if I got it wrong? I'll go red and I'll move around and fidget a lot, my voice may be quiet and I'll have to say it again... Another chance for people to see how nervous I am. Everyone must think I'm a freak.


If I'm asked to go buy something in a shop I'll get shaky and nervous about talking to the person behind the counter. What if I have to speak to them. They'll know I'm a freak. They won't understand. They'll be thinking "what's up with this weird girl, she's pathetic" I'll blush and when I do it's so noticable. I'll think about how much I'm blushing and how much they'll notice. This just makes me even more nervous. I've had times where they said something to me and I just wouldn't reply, my mum would have to answer for me. She must think I'm stupid too. Afterwards I'll analyse everything that went wrong and what I should have said. I'll think about it when I'm going back home, I'll think about it at night. I still remember when I screwed up and embarrassed myself in year 4. I still beat myself up over it. I was in the medical room when the teacher asks me if I'm allergic to plasters, I giggle because I didn't think it was possible. She then tells me that people are allergic to plasters and I get a lump in my throat. Stupid me. Obviously you can be allergic to them. Now she knows you're an idiot.


Being the centre of attention is horrible too. I can feel myself getting really hot, I know I'm red, everyone is looking at me and knows I'm red too. I get restless and normally put my hand on the back of my neck, i never knew why but I guess it covers my face a bit. I'll move around in my seat and feel really uncomfortable. If someone compliments something I've done and people gather round to see I'll say "thank you" but my voice will be small and weak. They know I'm nervous. Sometimes they won't hear me at all and they compliment it again because they think I wasn't listening... But the people around me know I said thank you and they know how stupid I look, not even being able to accept a compliment properly. "Well I've screwed that up again as usual..." I'll think

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, I didn't really think about it too much but then I thought it was getting pretty bad so I told a friend via skype. This didn't exactly help. She was very supportive and kind but instead of thinking that a weight was taken off my shoulders, I felt the opposite. I've been thinking and researching it a lot more recently and I've been getting worked up about it. Every time I'm with her I know she's thinking about it and it breaks my heart that she may think I'm a freak. She told me on skype "Even if you have a mental disorder you're still the kindest funniest person I know" and then the realisation hit me. It's not just how I am. It's not just my personality... It's a mental disorder! She told me I should tell my parents or get help but I don't really want to. Yeah, I want to be more confident and outgoing but I'm scared it will change my personality and change who I'm friends with. I'm scared I won't be me... Can anyone give me some advice?

[Blue_Bird]

Getting help won't change who you are, you're not fully living when your anxiety holds you back like that. Therapy would be a good option, it's very helpful for anxiety disorders.

-Take care,

[Random_Girl_]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Getting help won't change who you are, you're not fully living when your anxiety holds you back like that. Therapy would be a good option, it's very helpful for anxiety disorders.

-Take care,

Thank you