[scoofynewfie]

I am 49 years old and have dealt with anxiety off and on for 20 years now. I also have had a significant fear of death for as long as I can remember. A few years ago my husband aunt who was terminally ill passed away with me by her side. While at the time I was impressed with the process of her death and it didn't seem as bad as I had thought. Within 6 months I was driving on the freeway and felt like something was pushing my head to the side (thought it was an inner ear issue) which triggered my anxiety and panic so I pulled off and drove side streets the rest of the way home. The closer I got the better I felt so I knew it was anxiety related. Within a week of that episode, I was mentally paralyzed. I was afraid of literally everything ..... driving, public places, the woods in my backyard, everything I looked at I immediately thought of something negative (for instance if I drove by a body of water I would instantly think there might be a body in there ), and I couldn't touch a sharp object of any kind . Now as I do have that fear of death and I value my life , I would never ever hurt myself or anyone or anything ...... but why was I afraid of everything all of a sudden. I did go to counseling for a few months and we felt that distraction is my best friend. I do find when I am at work around the public I am much better. It continues to be a minor struggle every day ..... at least something I think about daily. Things are much better than a year ago, but I just can never get anyone to give their opinion on what happened. The counselor had thought maybe a minor PTSD thing with dealing with his aunts death...... but Im not sure. My anxiety in years past has always been relatively manageable ..... this time it really scared me. Thanks for any input you all might have !

[healingme4me]

Before I even got to the end, my first thought was PTSD. PTSD can rear it's head months even up to a year later. Trauma needn't necessarily mean that one can't function, but death can be traumatic in a stressful way. If that part makes sense? Our brains sometimes miswire and handle stress in bizarre forms.

[scoofynewfie]

But how does one overcome that ?? This has been a year now and while I am better, I feel some days its almost as bad as it was originally. I do mediation sometimes and have learned some breathing techniques which help me a lot at work. I cant express how much it makes me feel better to know while no one may have my specific problems, I am not alone in the anxiety world .....