[thatsjustwhoiam]

Hey there, everyone. This is going to be a little long, sorry. So i have this exam coming up in like 15 months which will literally change my whole life. I get really anxious over it and it usually goes like this: (Ps i'll be posting this at the school and study issues forum too)

#1 I study, study and study.

#2 I get too nervous at some point and can't bear the thought of studying any longer. I get cramps in my stomach whenever i try to do so.

#3 I drop the studying for a while, trying to relax and relieve all the tension.

#4 Then i feel guilty and i can't help but think "i should be studying right this moment. i should be studying right this moment. i'm wasting time. i'm falling behind. i'm no good."

#5 It doesn't help that every single friend of mine is studying whenever i see them.

#6 The guilt increases my stress level and it becomes the only thing i can ever think of; the fact that i'm so stressed.

#7 It enables me from studying cause i can't focus.

#8 It enables me from relaxing and having fun for a change, cause i feel stuck and guess what, guilty.

#9 I end up freaking out.

Aaaand i have recently started showing those syptoms:

*tense muscles
*involuntary trembling of the body
*tension headaches
*fatigue
*poor concentration
*difficulty remembering things
*diarrhea

common symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder, ya know.

6 months ago i have finally managed to overcome depression, which was caused by my studies (again) in the first place. And now this. I know i just gotta "drop the attitude" and "chill out", but i've got these pretty high standarts. Everyone, myself included, expects A LOT from me. Failing is not an option, average or above average is not an option. Perfect, it has to be. I know i have been pushing myself too far for too long, but seriously, i don't honestly know what else i'm supposed to do to achieve my disturbingly high goals, which i have the potential to achieve but still need to work my *** off. (did i sound too egoistic over there? hopefully not)

Overall, i know i've babbled to much, but if anyone has anything to say about my "situation", please do share. I'd love some extra opinions and i'd be grateful for the help.

With love,

A Success Obsessed So Called Perfectionist Girl.

[kaliope]

from the sounds of it you do well. i was like this as well and i knew i needed to stop. i put too much pressure on myself. i knew i did well no matter what. i drilled into my head an A at 95% is just as good as a 100% on a report card. nobody was going to know i wasn't perfect. i didn't need to kill myself trying. so i developed a system and decided i wasn't going to worry about shooting for perfection anymore. i would first develop a study guide, writing everything down i needed to know. writing it down helped me remember it better. then i would read the study guide over and over, testing myself on it. i would get together a study group and test others and this would help me learn it. i didn't get obsessive about it. just read it once a night. sometimes i would write it over again. this is what worked best for me. i still usually got a 100 or maybe a 98.

[thatsjustwhoiam]

First of all, thank you, for sharing your experiences with me!

Well actually you are right. 98 is not so different than 100, when you consider it.

And studying with friends... I could be into that, it would make it more fun in a way.

[flutterfree]

I find coming off of other meds the withdrawal is a pain, I had some anxiety too from coming off an anti D