Time running out (TRIGGER WARNING)

I have this phobia I guess you could call it....of time running out. I don't normally express this fear to others because I'm afraid they will relate to it (as doing certain things before you're 30 is a cultural norm) . It makes me so scar ed to think everyone is thinking like me. Every time I go on Facebook, I see another peer getting engaged,, or buying a house, or finishing a degree. I have done none of these things. I have spent a majority of my 20s in therapy and in psych hospitals. I am so ashamed I try to avoid my family and friends. Today I have even thought about my suicide note. I can't bear the thought of what my. Family would go through but at the same Time I'm scared of living longer, in and out of psych hospitals into my middle age. I have no qualifications due to mental health interruptions. Working in a grocery store seems devastating. I have made albums of musical material but I have social phobia and no way to promote it. I am seriously thinking about suicide right now. The most debilitating thing is my body hatred. I feel f disgusting 24/7 and have alwYs been this way for as long as I can remember. People have told me externally that I am pretty but I can't accept it. Perhaps my body hatred is the most debilitating part of me. I try not to leave house Anymore. So scared of people seeing me. Even scRed of 7/11 people. I am so depressed now I just smoke all day outside...then go back to bed. I am 27 and have already given up on lif e.

1 of the things i'm always afraid of is getting to an old age (50, 60,) then looking back at my life and thinking- well, you know, i've absolutely nothing for show for it

i can safely say that i've not had many experiences most people my age would have had by now- ranging from going out on a date, to taking an exam, to graduating colledge, to going to a party.

i've watched it all fall apart in front of me, and i'm at an age where i'm not sure at all how i want to spend the rest of my life (even if i want to live anymore), as it seems like my fear of having nothing to show is actually coming true.

i think about suicide too, but then i think... what's the point. i can't get that right either.

hang in their

I can relate to you a lot. I'm 31 right now and haven't reach any of the milestones my peers have and it feels pretty crappy. Hang in there!

well i have reached old age,,,,lol.......and i finally got stable in my late 40s after a lifetime of mental illness and wanting to die. i drank early on to self medicate which got me knocked up and in an abusive marriage. i was a single mother raising my children in poverty my whole adult life. i certainly had nothing to show for my life besides all the suicidal craziness. after getting stable i sure felt like i had wasted my whole life. why hadnt i tried meds sooner. how different would my life had been if i got stable when i first got ill?

but you know what? i cant dwell on all that. even though i was old and lived a large part of my life, i got a degree, doubled my income and am doing very well for myself now. it is kindof like the prize for all the misery i have been through.

And I got old, but I had a decent middle life period from my 30s and 40s until I was 49. So it's always different. For me, apparently this older stretch is going to be especially rough. At least I have already been through so much that maybe I now know I might be able to handle it? I really don't know. For all I know I won't live much longer.

But I do know it's pointless to compare yourself to the fake perfect lives on Facebook. Everyone tries to look perfect on there. I think it takes far more courage and ability to deal with mental or physical health issues than to get a degree.

When people tell you you are pretty, but you deny the compliment or think they're lying or simply don't agree with them, you're doing yourself a disservice. Feeling pretty comes from the inside out. There are certain things you can do to help your self imagine, such as quitting smoking, working out, doing yoga, meditating, taking a relaxing bath every day, eating healthy, taking care of yourself, doing little things that feel good each day, giving yourself breaks, picking up a hobby for your body like dancing...

27 is still young. Think about it, if you started college sometime soon, you would have an associate's degree by the time you're 30 if you stuck with it and made it a priority. There is also financial aid help if you cannot afford it. Even people with mental illnesses go to college, its not impossible.

Take each day at a time. Imagine every day as if it were your last, and make the most out of that day, every day. I became MUCH happier when I deleted my facebook or other social media pages about 5 years ago and I haven't missed it since! People lie all the time on social media, the entire point is to make their "friends" see how popular they are and how great their life is. It only shows the "good things" never the "bad things".

Plus, getting married isn't as much as it's cracked up to be. Half of marriages end in divorce. Things always change. Just focus on yourself.
Trust me, I know how easy it is to compare yourself to the successes of others, its something I struggle with too. The only person you're in charge of is yourself, and you hold the steering wheel in your life, no one else is going to make decisions for your life, and you have so many numerous options and paths to go down.
Pick the path that feels best to you, and you can always change paths if it doesn't feel right after a certain amount of time.

You'll feel better even just talking to a career counselor at a local community college.
That's what I'm going to do soon. I'm scared, but I know I'll feel better once I do it.
Everyone lives life at their own pace. There is no right way or wrong way, we're all on individual journeys.
And guess what? Time is running out for all of us. No matter how many fancy degrees, no matter how many times one gets married, no matter how many kids one has, no matter what their job is, no matter how accomplished or rich they are - we are all running out of time. That's universal for everyone. So make it count.