[Pink3032]

Ok this is a dumb question but i figured i would ask anyway.
Has anxiety ever interfered with friendship or relationship. The past couple of months have been rough for me with my anxiety. Sometimes when my friends would call i wouldnt be in the mood to hear them talk their problem or i wouldn't call them for weeks.some people got offended by me doing this.These friends know that i deal with anxiety issues sometimes but one friend said that its not an excuse to not talk to anyone. Can anyone relate to this issue.

[httpshay]

My friends are really outgoing people, and they are the kind of friends that want you to listen to their problems but don't want to hear about mine.
Sometimes if they have ignored me or not invited me somewhere it makes me seriously anxious about talking to them again for a while, they also say that about my problems aren't an excuse to not talk to them but sometimes I just can't listen to them drone about their issues that aren't really issues when I can't get my own head in order.
I understand where you are coming from, I really like sometimes you do need to just keep time for yourself or you might end up feeling worse.
x

My anxiety & depression, along with other issues, have caused me to essentially withdraw from life in general. In the literature, it's sometimes referred to as: "social suicide". I like to refer to myself as an "urban hermit".

[Fuzzybear]

First of all your question isn't dumb ...

It's very difficult for me to form close relationships, and yes, sadly, I've had many friendships to fade along the way.

There are those that do understand and those that don't understand that sometimes it is all we can do to take care of ourselves.

It certainly isn't kind for any of them (understanding or not) to try and guilt trip us into taking on more than we feel we're capable of handling at any given point in time.

While I regret some of the friendships that fell apart along the way, I understand the how and why of it and don't wish any ill will towards anybody, most of all myself.

I'm doing the best I can.

[NerveWracked]

Your question definitely isn't dumb . . . my boyfriend proposed to me for Christmas and I'm not ready and wasn't expecting it and had a total panic attack and have been anxious/upset all week. Going to see him again this weekend and I have no idea what to say or do. Don't even know what I feel . . . I think anxiety always affects relationships . . .

[lkbun14]

Anxiety has definitely affected my friendships and relationships, especially in the last couple of years. I've tended to keep more to myself, rather than want to always socialize. Your question isn't dumb at all, I can see a difference in my being able to relate to others depending on how anxious I'm feeling. I'm trying to be more aware of this and try and push myself to do more. The more I keep my anxiety down, the more I feel like my "old self" when I'm with my family and friends.

[CosmicRose]

Yes I've broken up with people because of my anxiety and I haven't maintained friendships because of it sometimes too.
Your friend should be more understanding and not reprimand you for needing space. But it just shows you how much you mean to her if she wanted to talk to you so badly and you weren't answering your phone.
Its okay to need space sometimes. Lots of people, as they get older, end up not having many friends because work or family life takes over instead. I don't know of many older people who have active social lives, I could be wrong here...but its just something that happens with age anyway. Now being younger, of course your friends might hound you more to hang out or call, but you should never feel obligated or pushed to do something.
Do whatever feels right to you in the moment.

[Hound]

Absolutely, you're not alone. My anxiety has caused me irrational worries that led to me ending a relationship this past summer. Fortunately they understood, forgave me, and after a few weeks we began our relationship again.

with friendships, sure.

especially when things can't be done the normal way or something like that

[Pink3032]

This kinda anxiety is normal.Its a good thing.You proably is just overwhelmed by not being ready to get married that you paniced.Just tell him how much you love him and tell him that your not ready .He should understand where u coming from

[Lizi18]

Your question is far from dumb. I had a close friend who withdrew from me due to depression. She never admitted it but as I knew she had suffered from depression prior to her cutting contact I figured that's what it was. When she got back to me, she denied it and just stated that's what she "does" sometimes, she tends to feel "suffocated" and It confuses her also. She likes to save face but at the time I believed her excuse and got angry with her because It was at a time I thought I needed her the most. That, I regret as a few few months later after dealing with depression for a while I became significantly worse had the same types of feelings she had explained to me. I had no desire to speak to or be with friends and I always socially withdrew without explanation. My friend and I don't speak anymore and we were very close and I miss her very much so I think It's safe to say that depression can cause a change in friendships/relationships

[Werewoman]

A couple of days ago I was talking to my dad on the phone. He was put out with me because I didn't call him on Christmas. I told him I've been having a rough time of it lately and just didn't feel like talking to anyone, and it wasn't personal. He said he was proud and relieved that I admitted that.

Well, I've certainly never denied it, and I thought about telling him it was part of my PTSD and depression - that sometimes I just want to crawl under a rock and hide from the world when I'm having a bad day - but what would be the point? I'm 52 years old and have had these problems since I can remember so you would think at some point my loved ones (not just my dad, but my husband, siblings, etc.) would try to understand (impossible, I know, but a girl can dream) why I do what I do and that I have unbearable anxiety, but no one has ever asked or tried to educate themselves. I guess it's just easier for them to believe I'm just rude or whatever instead of believing there might actually be reasons I am the way I am that has nothing to do with them.

OK, pity party over.

[CosmicRose]

Originally Posted by Werewoman

A couple of days ago I was talking to my dad on the phone. He was put out with me because I didn't call him on Christmas.

I wonder why parents assume the children are always supposed to call them on holidays and they don't call their kids on the holidays? This is something my mom makes me feel guilty for, yet she doesn't call me either?? My dad literally calls everyone (including my sister, his daughter) on christmas, he calls extended family on his side too. I don't really get why some parents think its the daughter or son's job to call them, when they could just as easily pick up the phone and call their kids instead?

[Weownthesky]

I have social anxiety and I get anxious when I feel obligated to hang out with someone and I avoid texts and make up excuses to stay home and stuff. They all want to go on weekend trips and go to the bar and I'm like I'd rather not. I also have anxiety over booking days off.

[Werewoman]

Originally Posted by CosmicRose

I wonder why parents assume the children are always supposed to call them on holidays and they don't call their kids on the holidays? This is something my mom makes me feel guilty for, yet she doesn't call me either?? My dad literally calls everyone (including my sister, his daughter) on christmas, he calls extended family on his side too. I don't really get why some parents think its the daughter or son's job to call them, when they could just as easily pick up the phone and call their kids instead?

Apparently, they have no concept of the fact that telephones work both ways?