[Pinnamed]

A recent occurrence has caused me to realize this about myself, though I think i i might have always had the issue; I'm homophobic. There's just something about homosexuality that never appealed to me, i've always felt that there was something wrong with it.

Now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that it shouldn't exist (per se), in fact, i'm well aware that it's not my place to say that it's wrong, it just doesn't seem right to me personally. Whenever i hear about it, it just comes off as wrong to me. I only spoke out against it once or twice in my life and both times occurred when i was just finding out about it. So i have ignorance of something new to me as an excuse for that one. Since then, I don't think I've ever spoken out against same sex couples again, and have certainly never made any movements against it. But even so, my unease around it is still there, something the aforementioned recent occurrence reminded me of.

I honestly don't know how to deal with these feelings.

[Airy]

Hi pinnamed. I think it's great you can be honest with your feelings. Is there a specific aspect of lgbt people that bothers you? Is it the thought of having sex with someone of your same gender? Of same sex people raising kids? Some introspection into what particularly bothers you could help you address your feelings.

For example, you might be repulsed by the idea of having gay sex. I think that's benign. We all have sexual preferences and those feelings say gay sex isn't for you. If you're male, it could also say you might have a fear of being emasculated. Society places a lot of pressure on males to withhold vulnerability. I think that pressure does more harm than good, we should be true to ourselves as long as it doesn't endanger others.

If you feel gay people aren't suited to be parents, consider what children need to grow into healthy adults. Are emotionally stable and loving gay couples inferior to straight couples? Does that mean single parents are inferior to straight couples? What about dysfunctional straight couples? Or mixed race couples? Aunts and uncles?

At the end of the day, arbitrary characteristics don't matter so much to children. (In fact, it can provide a valuable lesson that we all have inherit dignity.) Children need nurturing, validation, and guidance. As long as they get that, they'll probably turn out well. We owe that to the children of this world, no matter who that "we" entails.

What's important is you seem to realize that even if you feel it's wrong, lgbt people are people nonetheless; deserving to follow their own path, as we all are.

[Pinnamed]

After giving it some brief thought, i think the issue lies in me not seeing how a same sex couple could even work, a guy kissing a guy and girl kissing a girl in a romantic way just never sat well with me. I'm just so used to the "straight" couple being the norm, which can easily be interpreted the wrong way. What's more, I'm not even sure i'm even all for straight couples, as I have no real interest in finding a woman

[-jimi-]

It's fine. I know gay people who feel disgusted over the thought of heterosexual sex and they don't understand how a man can ever love a woman.

It's not always easy to understand another person's view, it takes a lot of maturity. Just respect each other nevertheless. Live and let live.

[A Red Panda]

I find the thought of kissing another girl, or more, absolutely repulsive. For myself.

As I never plan to experience that, then I'm good! The thought of other people doing that isn't a problem to me, because it's not a problem to them. In fact, I'm happy that they aren't having to do something that they find repulsive (ie being in a straight relationship when they are homosexual).

It's ok to not even be interested in sex or a relationship. If you are happy with what you have on your own, then that's all good. It's what makes us happy that matters.

It's also ok to feel uncomfortable around things that you find different. It's good that you recognize how you think; it can help you ensure that you don't treat anyone poorly for having a different viewpoint from you. Because at the end of the day, we can't help how we feel about things. What we can help is how we act; how we treat others.

it is good that you can be honest.

but remember that homosexuality is not a choice. it is genetic, and ignore what the bible-bashers have to say; it is natural. maybe you could try and interact more with people who are gay; it would help you develop some more tolerance.

everybody deserves love after all, right?

by being a little homophobic, you are only hurting yourself, not other people.

[prepsychmel]

All I can say is you're very brave to be so honest. For me, love is love. It doesnt matter who it is with.

[sparkln]

good of you to admit to this. i think maybe you just haven't been exposed to gay people enough.

[Hound]

I often feel the same way, but don't consider myself homophobic.

I think I have a right to feel that way too. We all have a right to feel however we want to feel. But the key is respect. I may not agree with what someone does but as long as there is no harm done to me or someone else, I will respect them.

Also, I may not understand it but I do know for a fact that homosexuality is NOT a choice, no more than my heterosexuality is. I also know that homosexuality does not make the person- they should be respected like everyone else. They should have the right to live their lives however they choose.

Originally Posted by sparkln

good of you to admit to this. i think maybe you just haven't been exposed to gay people enough.

yes, i do agree with this.

[CosmicRose]

If you no longer want to be homophobic, sincerely ask yourself why you think it is wrong for two consenting adults to show love to each other, regardless of their gender. Ask yourself if there was anyone who told you this was wrong in your impressionable years and you took it as fact. Deconstruct your beliefs if you no longer wish to hold onto them. Simply asking yourself why you feel a certain way should be sufficient to examine a particular concept.

People are afraid of unfamiliar things. Take me for instance. I have Autism. I have to reherse everything I do. If something happens unexpectedly, I panic because I'm not used to it in my life.
The same applies for people's reaction to me-they are usually startled because I act different than what they're used to. Perhaps you feel the same about homosexuality-you haven't been exposed to it so it doesn't make sense to you.
In my opinion, as long as you aren't being discriminatory and you respect everyone , don't worry about it. There's plenty of things people don't understand or agree with. I don't understand people who spend $50000 on a purse but it's not something I stress over.

Part of acceptance is accepting that not everyone "gets it". I've learned this with my disability.

[Pinnamed]

As i said in the original post, it was a recent occurrence that led me to finally realize this issue, and i think it's time i explained what that occurrence was.

Last month, when i watched the series finale of a show that i liked, i later found out that two of the main characters (one of which, thee main character) were bisexual. Needless to say, that through me for a loop. In addition to my apparent phobia of same sex couples, i'm thinking that there are two reasons why this bothered me:

1.) Because every other couple in the series in question has been a straight couple, so, i guess i figured that the idea of homosexuality was never going to be addressed in this series. I have seen it on television before, but only in shows like "The Simpsons", "Family Guy" and "American Dad", where it was usually played for laughs. The show I'm talking about, on the other hand, is known for being serious, dramatic and very complex, so i guess it never occurred to me if homosexuality would ever be introduced. Many people think it's a good thing that the show did this, but I'm not sure if i do.

2.) Because the main character of the show in question was originally in a straight relationship, one that ended with a breakup. I guess i was holding out hope that these two characters would get back together at some point, and, now that the main character is bisexual, that means that can never happen. It's a minor reason, i know, but still, it's one that still echoes in my mind

Any thoughts on this

[A Red Panda]

Are you talking about the Legend of Korra? (I love that show btw).

Bisexual is not straight, or homosexual. Bisexual means that someone doesn't judge sexual/romantic partners based by their gender; they can be attracted to both males or females.

Personally, I LOVED that ending. It's clear but could be missed by children, which I think is a nice line as a large chunk of society is still ridiculously homophobic in regards to including non-straight couples in the media, particularly in children's media.

And it made sense for Korra and Asami, because Asami is the only person that Korra continued to confide in throughout everything. You could see them becoming closer throughout the final season; I was actually not overly surprised and was rooting for them!

If you are somehow talking about a different show... well, my opinion still stands. I think it's great to show that people aren't always defined by just one set of criteria. I also think that having it come unannounced is also great, because it helps to expose people's bias' (such as it did for you!) and point out that you can't always just make assumptions about people.