[fearpanick]

Hi all - I have been in a near constant state of anxiety for the past week or so, with terrible, horrible, messed up intrusive thoughts wrecking havoc. None of this is new. I have been officially diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and was in therapy, which did wonders and made me feel like a real person again. But then I moved across the country, and I won't have insurance for another month, so I've been trying to self-manage but just haven't been doing all that hot. I had an awful panic attack (aren't they always) on Thanksgiving because I convinced myself that I had a blood clot. It was the first time my anxiety had latched onto my health and it hasn't moved, just radiated to other topics whIle festering in my health.

So two days ago I had severe self loathing because I majorly messed up at work (I just got promoted so major pressure from myself) and haven't been going to the gym (to be fair I have had a cold), so I cried and cried and cried. Yesterday I had ruminating thoughts about everything, though it likes to focus on cancer. And then today I woke up feeling...nothing. I mean, I know the anxiety is still there, and I know I could get set off easily, but I'm just feeling numb. Like my brain is so tired of over thinking everything that it's just thrown in the towel. I had some really dark scary intrusive thoughts last night, which I think set this off, but it's a scary feeling. Anyone ever been here? I want to feel something but I don't know how to get out of this fog.

[striking]

That is a lot of change while losing your support structure. There were bound to be repercussions.
Have you tried a crisis call line? Or contacting your old therapist?

Is it warm enough to sit in the park and people watch? Pet some dogs as they walk by with their humans? Make up some stories about how everyone is impressed with you, including the dogs...just for fun.

[gayleggg]

It may be your bodies way of giving you some rest from thinking. Take advantage and just rest and see if you feel better soon. Sometimes I just kind of go numb and find it gives my mind a needed break from all the intrusive thoughts that I have. I take advantage by either napping, watching mindless TV shows, reading or drawing, all of which I have trouble doing when my thoughts are running rampant.