Recently diagnosed with social anxiety

I suspected I've had social anxiety for a very long time but I recently got diagnosed with it, among other things as well.

It's really hard for me to deal with. I've lost most of my friends, and missed a lot of opportunities because of it. I live in constant fear that people are judging me, and think that I am stupid and worthless. The only time I'm ever comfortable around people is when I work. I work in retail. I'm comfortable because my customers only interact with me for a few minutes - they don't have to get to know me and realise that Im not really worth getting to know and that I'm Pathetic and stupid.

Im tired of fearing going out wth friends. I'm tired of feeling like a burden to people. I feel like people hang out with me because they feel obligated to because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I get paranoid that they'll get together without me and make fun of me and judge me.

((Teacup381))

I don't think anyone has the time to hang out with people they don't want to. I think you are valued by your friends but you just can't see it. Please give yourself some credit that you are out working in the public as many of us even have problems with that. You are doing well at managing some aspects of your life. Take baby steps at working on the rest. Your friends are most probably fine with you. ((hugs))

you are NOT worthless
you ARE dealing with mental illness, its tricky and challenging but there is a light at the end of the tunnel

just reading your post i can tell that you are not an idiot, you seem intelligent and compassionate
your friends hang out with you because they like you, otherwise you would be hearing them talk bad about you rather than "just" thinking they are talking bad about you, thats only the paranoia, dont listen to the paranoia

i know its cliche but hang in there and keep fighting
the more you learn about your mental illness the more you can fight back

welcome to the anxiety forum.

even if you don't feel like you are valued by your friends, you're defenetly valued here

Thank you all for the words of support. It feels like it's getting worse and worse. I've been anxious of these things for a long time. There was a really bad experience a couple of years ago with one of my 'friends' openly trash talking me over social media and it got extremely bad after that.. I've always assumed that all of my friends are doing that in private and so I've lost most of my friends from avoiding social situations.

I. Just hope I can talk to a therapist soon because it's overwhelming. There's a lot of things I can't do without getting paranoid or anxious unless my partner is with me. I don't want to rely on him solely and put that pressure on him. I've called to a few places but the waiting lists are so long... One was 18 months!!!!

You are very lucky that you feel comfortable at work. I don't. Work is the only place I don't feel comfortable which has been a big challenge for me.
So just knowing you're comfortable at work should give you a boost in confidence. That's amazing.
People do not hang out with someone they don't want to hang out with. If your friends really didn't like you, they wouldn't waste their time.
So the fact that your friends hang out with you, means they appreciate you.
You can get over this because you already have 2 things going for you. 1 you're comfortable at work, and 2 you have friends to hang out with.

Is there anything that happened to you at a young age that made you feel like you weren't worthy?

You're not alone. Even though I knew that was what was going on, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder a few years ago. Don't give up. Keep fighting. Go to therapy. Do CBT. Find meds that work. Use positive affirmations to help you realize that you ARE worth it. And we're here for you if you need support

I experienced a lot of mental abuse throughout my childhood that lasted for even up to just a year ago. Around 6 months ago I started having flashbacks about sexual abuse from my childhood as well and that has gotten progressively worse.

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I hope work becomes easier to cope with for you with time. I understand how hard it can be. I don't remember the last time I hung out with a group of friends. No one asks me anymore since I've pushed them all away. I only have one friend I trust and am comfortable around besides my partner, and I still barely see her. I've been wondering if I should talk to her about my diagnosis

It's going to get better! I was diagnosed with SAD a few months ago and have gained a lot of knowledge and understanding since then. Therapy has been helpful. Starting to doubt if I have a "mental illness", but more will be revealed of course.

I'm glad therapy has been helpful for you. I'm hoping I can get into therapy soon. My doctor recommended some programs but they have really long wait times so I'm gonna talk to him about other options. I hope things keep getting better for you!

Welcome teacup-there is a lot of info & support on this site. It's great that you can work-& you took a big step by coming here & posting. I'm sure you will find many here that can relate to what you are going through. You are not alone-you can come to this forum anytime for support. Take care