I'm terrified of talking to people in person. Talking over the phone has always been easier for me, but put me in the same room as that person, and I wouldn't know what to say. Over the phone, I can go on and on.

I'm a student at the moment in a much smaller class than previous years, and it's impossible to hide in the crowd. We're supposed to work together, discuss, find a solution. This bothers me. I feel like every little thing I do, or say is being judged. I feel like every move will be gossiped about, like every word I say is going to give a bad impression. I've had the same problem in school. I spent break times alone, with my head in a book. The thought of starting a conversation with someone would freak me out. I can't afford that hiding now. I have to talk to people as part of class, and it's scary.

I'm so afraid that I'd rather not say anything than have my words judged. In group efforts, I let someone else take the lead as much as I would like to. I keep questions to myself. It's hindering me.

I feel horrible for asking for help. When I consider asking, I think they're going to think I'm slow, stupid, not paying attention- none of which is true.
I don't know what to do.

Today, I was told that I'm way too quiet. I guess a part of me was hoping my avoiding talking would go unnoticed. This person wanted to know why I don't speak much. Being the idiot that I am, I told the truth: that all my life I preferred to read a book or hide behind my work because when I'm with people, I'm not sure what to say.
I feel like an idiot. I keep thinking that was the wrong thing to say, that these people are going to think I'm just stuck-up, anti-social. None of it is true. I want to talk. I just can't. That comment and my response has been playing in my head over and over.

What's wrong?

How do I cope this?
The people in my class are good people. I just wish I could speak with them, without imagining that they're going to turn everything I say into gossip, or laugh at what I do.

Where do I go from here?

Thank you for reading.

[CANDC]

It sounds like what you may be describing would be shyness and social anxiety. Here are some articles about that.
Psych Central - Search results for Overcoming shyness with people

If you are willing to go out of your comfort zone, there is an organization called Toastmasters that has locations in South Africa. People go and listen to other people give speeches. It is a chance to be in the public without being worried about how things turn out. You never get a grade and you can open up at your own pace.
There are 100 clubs within 150 miles of Johannesburg
https://www.toastmasters.org/Find-a-...ica&radius=150

In college, my minor was in interpersonal communication. I would be glad to text chat with you privately if you find that option of interest. Private message me (left click on my name and select Send Private Message to CANDC)

[CosmicRose]

I also experience the same thing. And this might sound a little harsh - but stop thinking about yourself. Seriously. This helps me.
I realize whenever I feel this way, it's because I'm putting attention onto myself. It makes me want to disappear in the crowd because I feel like everyones looking or thinking about me - and they're not. So whenever these feelings surface again, just try to remember - no one is thinking about you.