[daisiesneverlie]

well another holiday is here and i am unable to go to another family dinner. I woke up feeling dizzy this am and it hasn't gone away, does anyone else feel dizzy all the time with anxiety??? I just sit here sobbing because i am so frustrated with myself....i am trapped in my home and my anxiety....

[daisiesneverlie]

[Juliana]

Hi daisies. I know what you're going through. I had agoraphobia for over 3 years. I only left my flat to go to doctor's appointments... and I would practically have to be dragged there... dizzy, nauseous, unable to swallow, crying, etc.

I usually felt pretty comfortable and calm in the isolation of my safe place... my flat. But, when there was something going on, like a family holiday dinner, or my niece being born (and everyone at the hospital to see her), my anxiety would go up because I would feel like I SHOULD be there and I would feel guilty that I couldn't.

Dizziness was (and still is) one of my symptoms of panic. I lived alone when I had agoraphobia, and I would feel panicked -- dizzy, nauseous, unable to swallow -- whenever anyone was here to visit. Sometimes, friends or family would bring over dinner but I couldn't eat unless I was alone. I would have to wait until they left.

Agoraphobia's an awful thing. I thought there was no way I would EVER get better. I couldn't imagine ever being calm enough to step out on my own deck... and the thought of taking a walk round the block was TERRIFYING. There is hope, though. Please remember that. I had no hope for a long time. I DID get better, though, and I lead a full life now.

For today, just remember that this is the way you are. It's not your fault that you can't go to that family dinner. You would be there if you could go. Try not to let the guilt or anxiety overwhelm you. I often blamed myself for being "weak" or "crazy." Well, I was neither. I had a powerful disease called agoraphobia that stopped me from doing things... and you have that disease too. ((((Daisies)))) Just remember that agoraphobia doesn't have to be a life-long disease. You can recover, but it's not going to happen today, so try not to beat yourself up about it.

[daisiesneverlie]

Thanks Juliana for your kind words! That is exactly how i feel...I hope that i too will be able to over come this! I am working hard on it, for myself and my children. Your post gives me hope!

[Juliana]

Hope is the most important thing, Daisies. I didn't have any hope for a long time when I had agoraphobia. I wish I had had the internet back then, but I didn't. I wish I could have talked to other people who had experienced the same things and could relate. The only thing I knew about agoraphobia at the time was that Carly Simon had had it... because I remembered seeing her on a talk show years earlier and thinking that agoraphobia sounded so WEIRD... never thought I'd get it.

You should do something nice for yourself today... because I know how hard days like this are when you have agoraphobia. Do something you enjoy... just for you... because you're worth it.