[FallenIntoDarkness]

It seems as if everything triggers me now. My former partner called the police on me back in November and due to a misunderstanding it resulted in me being sent to jail. Now I'm out, still fighting the charges (with my former partner backing me up), but she's dating someone else now... which really hurts considering we were really close for one and a half years...

In terms of triggers, there's so many things that trigger me. Mostly things about her. For instance, someone who looks like her, or something that looks like a sentimental gift (they were selling large sheep stuffies that I got her a miniature one of last Valentine's Day).

Sirens are the worst. Hell, even flashing blue lights or anything remotely close to a police cruiser trigger my anxiety attacks. Even worse still are when I see her in public with him... it really eats me alive especially when I saw a picture of them together half naked in his room...

I honestly feel like I can't escape it. I have dreams of being sent back to jail and when I don't dream of that, I have dreams of my ex. It often leads to me writhing in agony from anxiety symptoms late at night as if I'm being burnt alive, except with just the shear intensity of my emotions. I miss her so much and I'm scared I won't be able to love anyone else.

I'm not really sure on how I can move on from this. I feel like I'm crippled and unable to do tasks that I was able to do before. I might have to give up on my degree and that's really heartbreaking considering I don't want to be working at my minimum wage job for the rest of my life.

[kaliope]

the best thing is to divert all those thoughts into something positive, distract yourself by burying yourself in your studies. dont let her have this power over you. practice anxiety relieving strategies, visualizations of getting that degree and being a success. i am sorry that you had this misunderstanding and ended up in jail. perhaps talking to a professional to process all these feelings would be a good choice.