[BootsMedina]

In my job I have a weekly meeting with four colleagues. It's fairly casual--three peers and a manager--but I always find it difficult to speak when it's my turn. My heart pounds, my throat seizes up and I have to swallow frequently to get through it. If we're just sitting around talking, I'm completely fine. I participate in the discussion and am totally normal. However, when the manager asks me for a brief update on my work activities, the anxiety strikes--even if I only have to say a few words. Whenever I have to "report," I'm terrified. The bigger the audience, the worse it is. And if the "report" is being delivered to, or in front of, an authority figure (a manager, police officer, teacher, security officer, etc.), the anxiety ramps up. I have taken herbs and beta blockers, paid for hypnosis sessions, bought self-help books and tapes and prayed, but I cannot find the answer. I was a very shy child--was never comfortable being alone in social siituations. I always became anxious when one of my elementary teachers was replaced with a substitute. My mother would give me a prescription sedative (I learned later). Not surprisingly, in later life I often turned to alcohol to medicate myself in social situations. I function well enough now. I have a good job, I'm married and have kids. But social anxiety is still an obstacle, and public speaking is a nightmare. I'm beginning to think I'm just going to have to live with this, but it's horrible.
Has anyone else gone through this? Have you conquered it or do you have an effective strategy? I'm middle-aged now. I would like to achieve peace with this in the latter half of my life. My daughter will be getting married in a few years. I'd like to be able to say a few words at her wedding without numbing my fear with alcohol.
Help. Please.

[RedEagle]

Xanax or Valium might help, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

[RisuNeko]

I don't know if you want another addiction on your hands though.

I freeze up and have awful anxiety when I have to speak in front of people, especially authority figures, too. My voice trembles and I can barely get a word out. I've been that way ever since my first school presentation in like 3rd grade. It was really bad throughout my school years but by college we had to give presentations all of the time, and I learned to face my fear a little bit. It's like exposure therapy, it'll get easier over time if you really work at it and remember to breathe.

[BootsMedina]

RedEagle - Thanks. I was on Celexa for about a year and a half, but I weaned myself off. It helped a little, but not much. I actually tried an herbal anxiety supplement today because I had to speak during a meeting. It helped.

RisuNeko - I've had the same experience. Funny, though, it seems to have gotten worse the older I get. I have more opportunities to speak, and it never gets any easier. I keep thinking one day it will just click and I'll get over it. Until then, I'm experimenting with herbal remedies--valerian root, kava kava...mindful breathing. It just sucks. It's like having a stone in your shoe for forty years or more.