[tealBumblebee]

I work in the ER, which can naturally be chaotic. Today, we had a cardiac arrest (not abnormal) who, by the end of my shift, the person was fully functional, talking, etc. So, better story than normal. Still this (or coincidently nothing) seemed to really kick off some extreme anxiety in me today.

I started off feeling anxious until it hit the pit of my stomach and I actually told the nurses I was working with flat out that I was scared (but I couldn't say as to what I was afraid of). They told me i'd be okay and we all worked well together without many issues. Still, by the end of it all I remained anxious and jittery. I took my lunch break shortly thereafter because I couldn't shake it & was tempted to spend it in the bathroom crying just so I could get "it" out. I ate and listened to my relaxation app (for sleep) instead.

When I returned, I still felt it in my chest and checked my pulse (which was fine). I decided to work through it but obviously didn't do well b/c someone ended up asking me if I needed to pee because of my jitters. By this point it had been 2 hours since the initial spark and I was convinced that maybe I was in the middle of a panic attack. The feeling did pass as I got back to work, only coming back sporadically. But, by the last hour it was back to the knee shaking, jitters.

After work, I needed to stop by the store and just kept going back and forth about the smallest decision of taking something back and getting my three dollars back or not. This stressed me out to the point that I was closing my eyes, sitting in the parking lot overwhelmed by the anxiety of the decision. I literally prayed to God like four times to help me decide.

When I came home, my aunt commented that I must have had a good day because I was really hyper - but i'm convinced what she perceived as hyper was really anxiety.

I finally took a xanax (new as needed rx since March) which did help a lot but kind of made me tired. Now, i'm thinking back on my day and can't help but wonder if this was moderate anxiety or some kind of panic attack? I've had one panic attack in the past year and a half and this wasn't like that. Anxiety has never interfered with my job to this degree so it really has me concerned...Any insight or relatable stories from your own experiences would be highly appreciated...

[eeyorestail]

Sometimes I feel like my anxiety works on a spectrum. For me, it's not normal anxiety vs. a panic attack but a continuum where mild anxiety is at one end and severe panic is at the other end.

It does sound like there were some "panicky" aspects to your anxiety (if that makes any sense) and so I can understand why it was especially scary. Being scared of these new-ish symptoms probably only fed your anxiety and made it worse. That's what a lot of my anxiety is sometimes--anxiety about my anxiety.

I think my advice would be is to not take this as a sign as, "Crap, now I'm having anxiety at work that I didn't have before, something is wrong with me, something has changed." It was one instance. Maybe it will happen again; maybe it won't. But try not to convince yourself that this is a portent of worse to come.

Can you split the Xanax in half? (How many mgs are the pills?) Benzos make me tired as well.