[SeraphStar]

Okay, so this idea - the whole question of why anything exists - has always bothered me. Normally I can get over it, but after I thought about it the other night, I have been absolutely unable to get my mind off it and it is causing me severe anxiety and possibly even panic attacks (not really sure what constitutes a panic attack exactly, but it's bad enough for me).

Of course, as this is a psychology forum, I'm not looking for scientific, philosophical, or theological headway into the question. I've actually read many, many forums and papers on the topic in the three aforementioned areas and have found at least some comfort in them. But it just isn't enough. I guess I freak out about the idea that, no matter what explanation you give for why things exist (I mean the totality of existence; the univese, all of space and time, etc.), you can always ask "why?" again, and again, and again, and again, and again.

So I feel like there is no reason for anything. And I think what bothers me so much about that is that everything starts to feel hopeless and that I feel like nothing matters anymore, since you can't establish what the reason for anything is. I don't actually believe that nothing matters - I want to continue to be alive and to be happy - but I just keep having that fear and the fact that you can't explain existence keeps making me really panicky. I feel like there is no solution, as if I HAVE to keep worrying about this since you can't answer it. If I just ignore it, I feel like I would somehow be living naively, like I'm ignoring this idea that nothing actually matters (or something like that). I hope that makes sense.

From what I've read online, and from who I've talked to, it seems like most people don't freak out about this. Some people even find it very fun and interesting to think about. I would like to be that way - or at least have some other reassurance that will make this unknowing not matter anymore. Not knowing the ultimate answer about existence really probably shouldn't matter to me, and I want to be convinced of that. Or maybe I do just want to never even THINK about it again.

Again, I hope this makes sense, and I apologize for this being so long. I would appreciate any answers or suggestions. Thank you very much for your help.

[IrisBloom]

While there is nothing wrong with wondering about the universe and our existence, most people think about it a while then move on. If you are looking for real answers you will find them if you look. If it's just thoughts and fears that keep repeating in your mind, that sounds like OCD. I have the ability to think about things till my mind can't make sense of it any more. IMO everyone has at least a little OCD, but if it interferes with your daily life it needs to be treated by a professional.

[Sesiley]

These thoughts I also have run through my mind time to time. It gives me anxiety or can make my anxiety worse.

Instead of asking why, ask HOW.

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[introspectiveme]

That is how my thoughts are, almost every day. I have OCD and It does interfere with my sleep and stuff, I don't know if this will help anyone else, but studying about space and time in my spare time helps me, because it makes me realize that life is what I make of it, the impact I make on people is real.

[Trosky6708]

I have something very similar that I deal with. I know you don't want a theological response but this is just another view. I have a good life as well, so I don't hate life or anything. I don't like my own existence, to have to be, to have to function. Based upon my beliefs a) the higher being has a purpose for my life even if I never know or see what it is or was. b) even if my life ended I'd still exist in another form (life after death). It just sucks I was never given the choice to not exist. So I am just kinda stuck until I die.

[LifeGetsBetter]

What if there is "no reason for anything"? How important is that? Why would you feel hopeless about it?

I don't believe in an afterlife so I don't worry about what will happen to me when I die. I don't fret about my lack of existence before I was born so what's to concern me after I'm dead? We're just here for a time, then we're not. While we are here, we can try to make the time as comfortable as possible.

i do worry about it too.

the question that always makes me anxious is, why do we exist- why do we live life and try to make the best of things, only to have it taken away again afterwards?

what's the real point

and that i try not to think about but do..

Existential angst (what you seem to be experiencing) is actually quite common.

One of the benefits with existentialism, supposedly, is that once we acknowledge our need for meaning, see life as ultimately meaningless, and see our responsibility in creating our own meaning--we are given a new freedom.

I realize you didn't want a philosophical answer I'm just not sure there are any other types of answers. I'm not into pathologizing (though it works for some people).

[SillyKitty]

We aren't, then we're born, and so we are, then we die, and then we aren't anymore. BUT we can make the most of our time here. Live life to the fullest!

[-jimi-]

I have a lot of that stuff. Started at a very early age. I think mine comes from sort of understanding more than I should have as a child. I was never able to be happy for a long time because sooner or later those thoughts came back and then it didn't matter if it was a sunny day, I had ice cream and all the things children like.

I'm an adult now and it really pains me that we might be here for a second and then gone leaving no trace, and every battle is pointless, success is pointless. Our lives are just a very small scream between voids.

I don't know how to fix this but these days when I start thinking, I try to put the thoughts out of my mind before I get really anxious.

[Fuzzybear]

[annoyedgrunt84]

I just wanted to stop by and tell you your not alone, I have existential crisis quite often, often mixed with regret about the mistakes I have made.

[SeraphStar]

Thanks for all the replies, guys. I'm still trying to work through this. No idea why it disturbs me so much (right now in particular). And, actually, it's okay to post theological/scientific/philosophical ideas, because they can help. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't turning this thread into something that isn't really psychology-related.

One of the best "explanations" that I could come up with myself is: something (some form of the universe and/or whatever's beyond it, came before it, etc.) has always been here, and trying to find a reason for the existence of this thing is simply a human concept. Asking "why" is simply a human concept; maybe there is no why. Infinity is just something our finite minds can't understand.

Sometimes that makes me feel better, but sometimes it doesn't. I feel like you could STILL ask why, no matter what the explanation is. I feel like you could still ask about why there isn't nothing at all (absolute nothingness) or why existence didn't take on some other form, etc. Again, I really can't explain why exactly this makes me panic so much. This might help somewhat: when I think about all these things, I feel like I'm trapped in some sort of dream that no one is dreaming, and I can't wake up from it. You might just tell me to stop thinking about it so much but for some reason I just can't move on, as if nothing else in life will matter if I don't resolve this.

I'm seeing a psychologist starting Monday, so that should help. But I'm still open to other ideas on here.

As the cliche goes... Why not?