[fosterthehuman]

usually my roommate is pretty talkative with me. most of the time, she says hi to me when she enters the apartment. says bye when she leaves. but today, she got home and didn't say a word to me. she spoke to our other roommate for like ten minutes and they were laughing and everything. i feel like i did something wrong. i feel like she's mad at me. but i can't think of anything i said or did that would have made het mad. what did i do? i know the simple thing to do would be to confront her but i have social anxiety and i get extremely anxious confronting ppl.

update: i've been starting to say hi and bye to them more often now but today both of my roommates didn't say i word to me. it's like now if i want them to talk to me, i have to initiate everything. she just left the apartment with our other roommate and they didn't say bye. and what's weird is that she usually never hangs our with our other roommate, she usually hangs out with me or her family. i feel like i did something wrong. should i ask her if she's upset at me?

they still seem nice to me, it's just that our conversations are now really short and different than they used to me before. so should i just confront my roommate that i was sort of having issues with before? i should i confront both of them now? this is really difficult for me cause i get super anxious doing this. but now i honestly don't know what to do.

[CANDC]

Confrontation is usually not a good way of approaching things. Maybe they are just getting into a little clique. People and relationship changes. It sounds like your relationship with them was important to you. Sorry they are not reciprocating.

I would rather ask them individually what is going on with them. Explore neutral topics. Maybe the whole thing is a result of anxiety. Talk to them as if nothing is wrong and maybe something will be clearer.

[CosmicRose]

Just go about your business like everything is fine. Maybe they assume you like your quiet time. If you ask a direct question and no one answers you, that's when you need to confront them. But until then, don't worry about it. Just be as you normally are and don't dwell on it - it could be nothing. Maybe they don't realize they're doing it, too much on their minds or something. Just wait and see how it goes in the next few days. It should be fine. Carry on like normal.

[cakeladie]

If they are girls, girls can be witches. Just go about your normal stuff and try not to worry about it. But if it's bugging you. So much if one of them is alone then ask her if you have done anything to upset her? See what she has to say or just go about your business and things will work out.

Good luck.

[C2015]

I am like you and hate confrontation. I had to confront a friend I thought was ignoring me. Hopefully my experience will help you. Last week I thought a friend of mine was ignoring me. I just flat out asked him why he was ignoring me. I said I sent you a text and you didn't respond. He said I'm not ignoring you I didn't get the text. Which I do believe since he has an android phone. Now he's talking like nothing happened. It bothered me him not talking to me since right now he's my only friend. For those wondering I am a female. It upset me thinking he was ignoring me because he knows everything about me and if I am upset I can tell him. His advice so far has always been right.

Why not wait a few days and see if things go back to normal. It might be just a coincidence. If they are ignoring you then politely ask them individually if you have done anything to upset them. I am like you and hate confrontation. I hated texting my friend asking why he was ignoring me. But it turned out it was all in my mind he wasn't ignoring me. It might be that way with your roommates.

[Whiteroses02]

I personally think you should respectfully ask them if there is something off between you guys. Remember to use I statements like I feel, or I notice, instead of saying You are being.... This takes a non accusatory stance and allows you to explain your own feelings.

One thing I've noticed living a life with social anxiety.. I rarely communicated my feelings and was perpetually making my own assumptions that usually ended with me in the wrong and foolish in some way. I'm learning communication is key to stop my anxiety from catastrophizing a situation into worst case scenario. And many times I'm finding out whatever situation I was worried or anxious about had a totally different reason that what I had assumed in the first part.

I highly encourage you to ask them what's up, best case scenario they thought you wanted some space. And if worst case scenario comes around and it was something you did or said the beauty of communication is you can fix it then. Here's a mantra my therapist has given me when I'm feeling too vulnerable to open up or communicate... "Connection ALWAYS trumps shame" and not only is it true, but it has helped me be brave in so many ways!

Good luck and keep us updated! ☺️