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Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Mexico
Posts: 175
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#61
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Angelique67
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,125
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#62
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Member
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Mexico
Posts: 175
9 217 hugs
given |
#63
I just called my psydoc and when I told him what has happening to me, he told me I was trying to make "a chicken soup withoutc chicken" or in other words, brewing conflict when there was none. I know that. He told me that I had an excellent relationship with my mother, no deadlines and no debts and I should gave thanks to god. I know that. He told me (rather forcefully) that for my panic attacks, which are nothing (or came for nothing) I should just take my medicine, which is for depression. To. just. take. my. medicine. In a curt and I think exasperated tone of voice.
And I can't stop crying. I know I have nothing to fear. I know that I have my mother. I know that I have a great life. But that doesn't stop the sweat and the palpitations in my hands, the stress in my back and the guilt in my mind. That hadn't stopped me crying in the morning feeling sick in the evening or having these thoughs of tragedy circling my mind. He is more than likely being right, but it hurts dammit. It hurts that he acted that way when is the second time in a year that I had called him and none in the last two I had seeing him. It hurts that he only gave me less than five minutes and it's my fault because I thought he would be kinder. Maybe it's what I need, this slap to wake up, But it hurts and I feel like utter ****. I hope feel better latter. I am in my other city, having to stay because my photos wouldn't come out until yesterday and I'm alone and tomorrow was supposed to be the annual reunion with somewhat I think people that like me and it was going to be great and now I must stay here preparing for the moving and I'm so alone and I can't talk to anybody and I fear going out of my diet and I'm whinning and have everything but that doesn't stop the tears coming. |
Amarose, spring2014
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: somewhere between hell and back over the rainbow
Posts: 834
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#64
nimtri,
your pdoc sounds like an idiot when he said something about a conflict . does he know that you need two people to have a conflict ? I guess he doesn't know that . my therapist told me yesterday in my session w her . whenever you feel your anxiety is gets to a 5 on a scale from 0- 10 , she told me to do the STOP technique take three deep breaths in and blow three breaths out think of something pleasant and tell yourself and the other person at whom you are having a conflict w that you need a time out and walk away from the situation until you calm down . Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression meds: Cymbalta 90mgs at night Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn 50 mgs at night for insomnia __________________ |
Amarose, Nimitri
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,890
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#65
High anxiety, low motivation all day today and I can't find my meds.
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Amarose, Verity81
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Grand Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: somewhere between hell and back over the rainbow
Posts: 834
10 685 hugs
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#66
really rough week everyone .I was bawling in front of my therapist yesterday afternoon in my session and she was delayed again yesterday afternoon she knew that she had an appointment with me yesterday . my cellphone died cuz of w battery was drained I couldn't go to choir practice last night .I had to call my therapist last night and found out that it was my anxiety that was bad again after I took my meds . I hate my anxiety level when it's high like that everyone it made me feel like **** and crap everyone .
Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression meds : Cymbalta 90 mgs at night Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn 50 mgs at night for insomnia __________________ |
Amarose, Nimitri, Verity81
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Member
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 64
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#67
When my husband got home from work I got really agitated and anxious. He was swearing alot, which I don't like him doing around our son, and saying things he says in a joking manor, but not funny to me.....
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Member
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 64
9 12 hugs
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#68
[QUOTE=spring2014;4705248]nimtri,
your pdoc sounds like an idiot when he said something about a conflict . does he know that you need two people to have a conflict ? I guess he doesn't know that . my therapist told me yesterday in my session w her . whenever you feel your anxiety is gets to a 5 on a scale from 0- 10 , she told me to do the STOP technique take three deep breaths in and blow three breaths out think of something pleasant and tell yourself and the other person at whom you are having a conflict w that you need a time out and walk away from the situation until you calm down . This technique sounds good! I will try to see if I can implement it. |
Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: uk
Posts: 1,459
10 202 hugs
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#69
Hate anxiety, I'm back on meds. I hope they work. To many negative thoughts. I fear my future
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Nimitri
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Member
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Mexico
Posts: 175
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#70
Today was a... good day. yeah good day.
I woke up but didn't have my attack. It was more like a simmering fear in my gut and in my back but nothing like yersterday. I did my breath excersice and prayers first in the morning as a way to ward the anxiety and I think it worked. Mostly. I didn't bawl. Was sad because I'm moving back to my home city and I realized I have not a single photograph of my place and that is all white with only two posters. Went to take a walk in the city and realized that I didn't do anything beyond being surrounded in my apartment. Then I remembered that I loved that and while it hurt watching some people joke with each other and I was so jelaous, I remembered good things I watched and though and the experience in my University. Only my studies to take an international posgrade soured my day, because I can't find anything that it's for the next year or I need to pay more to have my things translated and my exam and, well, that sucked. Did excercise and red MLP Fiction and while reading tense situations don't relax me, it allowed me to focus my energy. Feel tired now but good. Still pissed about my therapist, but I must trust he did the right thing or he was stressed and I called in a bad moment. Thank you all |
Angelique67
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,619
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#71
Anxiety is bad today. No reason. I hate it when it's like this. I could understand if I had a good reason but not when all I have to do is stay on the couch and watch TV. It makes me angry.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk __________________ Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha
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Nimitri, SeekerOfLife
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,890
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#72
I had a full blown panic attack and am still quite anxious today. I'm afraid that I'm losing my relationship with my sister and it is killing me inside. Very anxious over that today.
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Nimitri
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Member
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Mexico
Posts: 175
9 217 hugs
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#73
Feeling better today. Woke up with barely an anxiety feeling althought I stayed like 45 minutes in bed doing prayers and today I had nothing to do.
I feel a little sad because I'm leaving this city I have been for 8 years, probably forever and I feel I should have done more. Very tired and I want to go to sleep. |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,890
9 387 hugs
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#74
Just got a text from one of my step sons saying he is suicidal. We talked through his emergency plan since I can't really help living 3 hours away but now I worried sick over it. It used to happen daily and now it's every 10 days or so which I guess is better but all it takes is one time and it is tortures me as I learn if he really wants to do it there is nothing i can do to stop him. HELPLESS FEELING. I love him so much.
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SeekerOfLife
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Legendary
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Foothills, where I belong
Posts: 14,593
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#75
My anxiety is not as bad as it used to be. Depression is about the same.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,890
9 387 hugs
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#76
Son is doing better today which makes me less anxious. We might see both boys later in the week which I have mixed thoughts over but I'll handle whatever might come my way.
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Member
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Mexico
Posts: 175
9 217 hugs
given |
#77
I was fine, today I did everything I should do and while I got a terrible shock with my Time saver, everything else came fine. Found new information about my posgrade, have my teeth filled and even got an interview tomorrow. My first.
But then I told my mom 10 minutes ago that the dentist needed to do another work and those are 400 more and she forgot to pay the phone bill and sounded...exasperated? annoyed? that blew up my anxiety. Through the roof. I cost so, so, so much and I can't stop. I need to finish this dental and then comes my therapist and then the TOEFL and then the translation of my papers and Oh my god, I feel trapped. I want to stop costing, costing, costing and costing and my back is killing me and I want to curl and be in my home and just be under my covers and close myself |
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,890
9 387 hugs
given |
#78
It's one of the son's birthday today which has me reflecting on a lot of things but so far my anxiety level has been manageable. My talk with my PCP about anxiety yesterday went really well so I far less anxious about that now. Thus far today has started off fairly well other than a pain flare from SLE but I'm used to managing those by now.
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Texas
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#79
My anxiety is bad this afternoon. Maybe because I'm off my usual schedule. But a friend needed help and I couldn't say no. I really wish I had though from the klonopin doesn't seem to be helpings. I just want to go back home and curl up on the sofa. Does that make me a bad friend?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha
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Nimitri, SeekerOfLife
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,125
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#80
My anxiety has gotten pretty bad this afternoon. I'm full of undirected fear. And I'm dizzy.
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Nimitri
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