[sezchwarn]

I'm wondering how much consideration there is of parental anxiety as the ongoing cause of anxiety for people, even after they've left home.

Whilst my anxiety established itself in other ways, i.e. bdd, I've recently realised how I automatically feel a strong tightness in my chest and anxiety whenever I communicate with my mother. She has repressed anxiety I think but what I'm supposing is that there would have been a natural empathy that a child has for his caregiver which maybe continues even when it isn't necessary. When I say unnecessary I don't mean in the sense that one doesn't need to care for his parents anymore, I mean that your mother's anxiety is no longer a reason for you to feel fear and anxiety as you are now independent. To get technical, I suppose there is a deeply ingrained CBT chain there- my mother is anxious- if something happens to her I can't survive- anxiety. Since I've been telling myself that step two no longer applies, that her feeling anxious is no longer reason for me to feel anxious, I've noticed two things. One I'm much less anxious and two I've noticed her constant unconscious expression of anxiety and depression much more i.e. sighs and tone of voice. So she has been continuously sub communicating to me that there is reason to be anxious and depressed, and being my mother, I suppose I unconsciously have been accepting it, turning it inward, projecting it onto things like my inherited looks etc.

Does anyone know about any material on this? I did a quick google search but couldn't find anything totally relevant. I'd really like to explore more. It took me a long time to consider this idea so I wonder if many others are affected unknowingly. Because it's sub communicated rather than brought into the open, it's not as easy to spot.

[unaluna]

Yes, you internalize your parent. Google introject.

[Amarose]

My mother and me both have anxiety. This could be because of genetics or the way she raised me?

[francisR]

hi Sezchwarn

Genetics could play a part here, but there is also behavior modeling. As children we model our behavior on our parents so you could get anxiety that way. That you have find telling yourself your mom feeling anxious is no reason for you to feel that way helpful. You have found a way of counteracting this. Keeping doing this will help relating to her. I hope and pray this will continue to improve for you in the future. Take care. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis