[PetalxSnowfruit]

I don't have social anxiety. I don't have problems starting up conversations with people, going out (by myself), etc etc. My problems arise when people try to get too close to me, too quickly. I like having my space, and when people pop that bubble it makes me anxious. For example: before my courses begin I like to sit by myself and read, or do extra course work. That's all I did in undergrad. Now that the building is smaller, I have one person who constantly wants to be near me, talk to me, text me (I unwillingly released this information for a project; regret), and I don't like it. We have similar interests (I only knew her for 2 days before she started the constant communication), but I feel overwhelmed by her presence and I don't know what to do about it. It makes me anxious when I go to classes that I used to really enjoy, because I don't want to see her. Partially because I ignore her messages which are usually her just complaining about the material, or making fun of my work ethic. Sometimes I even end up sitting in my car before class starts so I can avoid her.

Am I alone in this feeling?

No you're not alone in the feeling that you need your space. It's ok to not like someone and some people are just incredibly annoying. Maybe something you said or did gave her the impression that you want to be all buddy-buddy but you don't so you have to let her know. Don't spend the whole time making it a bad experience by hiding in your car, etc. Just muster up the guts to tell her you need your space. It might be awkward and uncomfortable at first but after a bit, it will go back to normal.

[Sabrina]

No, you are definitely not alone. I also don't have social anxiety, can talk to strangers and am generally fairly confident. But I can't stand having my personal space invaded. It is so bad that this is even true for my husband and son. I love a hug and all that, but if they stand too close to me for too long, I move away. Hubby and I don't even sleep holding each other (well .... all that often).

I'm terrible in a queue at the store. If someone comes and stands right up behind me, I give them a dirty look () and move away. I'm awful in crowded places, elevators, escalators and the like. And just let somebody I don't know touch me - I'll have the heeby jeebies for weeks.

I get terribly claustrophobic with people too close to me. And that includes unwanted or uninvited communication (texts, phone calls etc). Makes me feel terribly unfriendly sometimes, but my family have come to accept it.

[PetalxSnowfruit]

Originally Posted by Ghost187

No you're not alone in the feeling that you need your space. It's ok to not like someone and some people are just incredibly annoying. Maybe something you said or did gave her the impression that you want to be all buddy-buddy but you don't so you have to let her know. Don't spend the whole time making it a bad experience by hiding in your car, etc. Just muster up the guts to tell her you need your space. It might be awkward and uncomfortable at first but after a bit, it will go back to normal.

See, I don't want to make it an uncomfortable/hostile environment. In undergrad I had no problems telling people to leave me alone, but in the end it made class awkward, and even worse for me. I don't want that happening again. Even when I would stand up for myself, I would still be anxious, and feel like I did something wrong. I have literally all of my classes with her, my program is THAT selectively small.

I really have NO clue what I said or did to give her this impression. I'd only known of her two days and then it just got overwhelming. I barely spoke to her.

[PetalxSnowfruit]

Originally Posted by Sabrina

No, you are definitely not alone. I also don't have social anxiety, can talk to strangers and am generally fairly confident. But I can't stand having my personal space invaded. It is so bad that this is even true for my husband and son. I love a hug and all that, but if they stand too close to me for too long, I move away. Hubby and I don't even sleep holding each other (well .... all that often).

I'm terrible in a queue at the store. If someone comes and stands right up behind me, I give them a dirty look () and move away. I'm awful in crowded places, elevators, escalators and the like. And just let somebody I don't know touch me - I'll have the heeby jeebies for weeks.

I get terribly claustrophobic with people too close to me. And that includes unwanted or uninvited communication (texts, phone calls etc). Makes me feel terribly unfriendly sometimes, but my family have come to accept it.

I'm the same way in stores, out in public, but I honestly think that's normal. Some people don't understand the concept of personal space lol.

As for physical intimacy, I'm not a fan of that either. I'm fine with high fives and handshakes, but hugs and other romantic gestures make me gag. I don't even hug my own family, I don't know what it is. My brother loves to hug.

I totally understand. When I received unwanted text messages I get so anxious I give myself piercing headaches. It's so bizarre and overall unpleasant. When people try to get close to me, both physically and emotionally, I feel overwhelmed.

[CosmicRose]

Its okay to establish boundaries. Tell her you're too busy to reply. You don't need to explain yourself. Just be nice, but not too nice. Keep your distance. Eventually she should get the hint. Or you can actually tell her, "I gave out my number just for the project. It costs me money when I get texts so only text or call me if its an emergency." I had a friend who would text me upwards of 10 times a day, every day. I eventually had to lie and tell her she was overcharging my cell phone bill because each text costs money, and she should only text me if it was absolutely necessary. That was the only way she stopped.

[That What]

Originally Posted by PetalxSnowfruit

I don't have social anxiety. I don't have problems starting up conversations with people, going out (by myself), etc etc. My problems arise when people try to get too close to me, too quickly. I like having my space, and when people pop that bubble it makes me anxious. For example: before my courses begin I like to sit by myself and read, or do extra course work. That's all I did in undergrad. Now that the building is smaller, I have one person who constantly wants to be near me, talk to me, text me (I unwillingly released this information for a project; regret), and I don't like it. We have similar interests (I only knew her for 2 days before she started the constant communication), but I feel overwhelmed by her presence and I don't know what to do about it. It makes me anxious when I go to classes that I used to really enjoy, because I don't want to see her. Partially because I ignore her messages which are usually her just complaining about the material, or making fun of my work ethic. Sometimes I even end up sitting in my car before class starts so I can avoid her.

Am I alone in this feeling?

Whose turning a small classroom setting into a small hidden vehicle avoidance system setting?

Could project contact be about someones in sight seeing possible more unknown eye opening experiences.

You never knew someone else's personal family friend connective experiences.

Focusing projecting on someone else as problem can form protective blinders from seeing and ear coverings from hearing barring possibilities...

Maybe someone is attempting to lighten load...interest in a study buddy group or some personal connection further ahead in upper class or graduated passed on suggestions on structuring and pacing to lighten load pressure.

Internalizing feeling boxed in started physically externalizing sitting in penalty box. Whose penalizing whom where?

Words you write...Complaining...or commenting about large load.... class material...making fun....teasing or criticizing...of work ethic.

Laughter best medicine and work ethic can hide burning candles at both ends. So maybe both complaint and making fun is trying hear you laugh.

Write a note and face her handing over...sometimes I am so focused on work I don't always hear someone else so am I missing someone's insight could you share?

If you really want to stay in quiet class set start non-verbal traffic hand signal stretches.

Picture curtains blocking view reaching out straight front hands backs touching opening curtains and pushing even with sides showing and actions telling clearing path.

Yawning contagion is sight and sound and tension relaxing...others feel safe to take in more air clearing air from tension.

Clears people and clears pressure.