Anxiety over something you know WON'T happen?

Hi everyone. First let me say I have never been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I'm not really sure if the level of anxiety I experience on a regular basis is something I should see a doctor about.

I'm an ultrasound student currently doing clinical rotations. My clinical year isn't going great, partially because of social awkwardness/being shy and timid, but mainly because of poor clinical site placements due to my clinical coordinator not being very good at her job and driving sites away. (I know that may sound like I'm placing blame on someone else, but even my classmates who are having a great experience in clinic would say the same thing.)

Anyway, I had an uncomfortable conversation with my clinical coordinator last week in which I essentially told her, without losing my cool, that I was concerned that she may not have put as much effort in earlier in the year as she should have in order to secure clinical sites. She said she was "offended". I know it may not have been the wisest choice, but it was something I just felt she should hear, if not for my sake, at least for future students.

This week I got a message from my clinical coordinator saying "we need to have a mandatory meeting" to discuss my clinical situation for the rest of the program. The way things stand now, I don't think anything has happened in the last week that could have made things any worse, and there could even be GOOD news. Though I can logically tell myself this, I can't help worrying that there is some terrible possibility I haven't considered. I don't know why I am so worried when I KNOW there's no reason to be. Maybe it's more that I'm nervous to see her again after ending our last conversation on a bad note and my brain is turning it into huge anxiety over a larger thing? Or maybe it was just her strong vocabulary? "Need" and "mandatory"...

Do any of you experience a similar thing, anxiety over a situation you already know is fine? Do you have any advice for how to beat this feeling? Our meeting isn't for another week, and the waiting is driving me crazy.

write everything down, write down everything you have done well, and things that haven't put plausible reasons and learning down, so if it is a negative meeting you have become well prepared with your answers. I hope it is a positive one though

Yes I do and everyone chastizes me for it - which only makes the anxiety worse.

For example all kinds of negative things go through my mind when I go out - let's say to do groceries. Will I meet someone in the hall of my apartment, will my car run, will it have a flat tire, will I piss someone off with my driving, will I be able to park, will people laught at my clothes, the way I walk, my selection of food, will I hold up the grocery line, will I fumble my wallet or draw attention to myself at the check out, etc, etc etc.

I know all these things to be ridiculous and untrue. I know that other people don't effing care. But I can't escape from these thoughts.

I wish I had a fix. I've started CBT to help me do just that. Thus far we have just been charting out the chain of my thoughts to fears to behaviour to consequences. I have been shocked just how much my life is affected by worrying about things I KNOW aren't true or valid.

thought chain (similar to above)

what is the desired action/result/behaviour
rate the anticipated pleasure/success of that situation (0-100)
what are your thoughts/feelings before doing it
why? Including past experiences
what can be done to complete the action/situation (ie. can you have someone else there)
(do it if you can)
what was succesful and what was unsuccesful about the action
rate the actual pleasure/success of that action

I am just starting to do this. It has been very eye opening

Well, I call what you've described, DancesWithWorms, generalized anxiety. For example, I know I have a major anxiety disorder. I worry about so many things it's insane. Some of the things I am anxious about will happen, some could happen, and some won't happen (most likely). For example, last May I moved into an apartment I really like. Everything, in reality, is fine. But I have this constant fear that one day the manager will tell me I have to move. I mean I really worry about such a thing happening...even though it doesn't make any sense to me or anyone else.

I so wish I had some great advice for you. The only thing that helps me is remembering to breathe (not hold my breath in or breath shallowly), medication (helps to a degree), and most of all trusting that the universe, God, whatever will take care of me...remind myself to have faith.

One more thing that helps is not allowing myself to dwell on my anxiety. I mean just STOP doing it. Because even thinking about it a little bit starts the worry-machine going. So, not allowing yourself to obsess over the fear and distraction, however you can find it.

Best to you. I know how hard this kind of thing is.

Try thinking about it from the supervisors side. Do you have any evidence that she has not tried as hard as she might? If not I think you might owe her an apology.

I wonder if your supervisor might be finding it hard to place you because of your "social awkwardness/being shy and timid" tendencies. You might wish to think about this as she might well bring it up. If she brings it up I trust she will do in a constructive way and offer you help with this. You might also ask her for guidance on how you can help her place you.

I know it may not have been the wisest choice I suspect you might be right that this was not a great gambit (even in America where people seem amazingly "in your face"). Can I suggest that you might have been wiser to say something along the lines of "Can I discuss with you whether I have been unlucky with my placements or whether there is more I should be doing to get the best out of them?"

Just a thought. Good luck with your meeting.

Hi guys. Sorry I've been MIA for several days. I didn't have the meeting with my clinical coordinator because she had to take her husband to the ER (fortunately he's ok now). We rescheduled for this Tues (11/17), so I've been anxious for an extra week. :/ Anyway...

rcat - I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time. Remember that you are not alone! Plenty of us experience these things, and for me, knowing that others understand is somewhat comforting. I hope that eases your mind a bit too.

LauraBeth - I'm sorry to hear that your worries are stressing you out so much. Sometimes when I get stressed out I can feel my heart semi-pounding. I found your advice about breathing helpful. As I was reading it, I realized I was breathing shallowly! I'm trying to be more aware of it, but it can be surprisingly difficult. :/

ConstantSorrow - Trust me, my classmates and I all KNOW that our clinical coordinator has been lazy. It would be a long story to give examples, but I can guarantee you it's true. The difficulty of placing me at a site is because she didn't get enough sites beforehand. All the sites were supposed to be squared away well before we even started our clinical year, and she didn't make that happen. That said, given that I've had a bit of trouble in clinic, I certainly understand why she would choose someone else over me to go to a good site and respect her decision on that.

Wish me luck with my meeting this Tues. :/ Hope you all are doing well.