[convalescence]

I used to want a boyfriend. I still somewhat want one, but now that I'm talking to guys in my area it's been so difficult! Why, why, why, why do I complicate everything so much? Shouldn't dating be fun? Exciting? Yeah, maybe to most people, but the thought of it strikes me with anxiety. Going out to eat? I've rarely been able to do that without panicking. Going to the movies? Forget about it. That's way too much sensory and my attention span is that of a goldfish.

Why does this have to be so hard to me? It just can't come naturally. I, of course, have to complicate every single thing when it comes to dating.

Anybody else experience this?

Sorry for the word salad rant. I'm just upset that this doesn't feel like fun to me. It's making me feel like a nervous wreck.

[Pierro]

Hello convelescence, I am sorry that you are finding it hard to meet guys, but if the truth be told most people find it difficult to meet someone...If you do meet someone, just go for a coffee during the day. That way it take the pressure off you...Its more casual... Just a thought..

Best wishes

[Walking Man]

You are not alone. I'm terrible about approaching women. I can't figure out what to say.

I also have this idea that dating should be fun. Maybe it is for some people, but I think the idea that it should be "fun" isn't quite right. I imagine for most people it can be very stressful. I haven't been on a date in forever. When I actually went it was ok, but it was always somewhat uncomfortable. I mean forget dating, going out with anyone you don't know very well, and spending a couple hours alone with them can be stressful.

Originally Posted by convalescence

but now that I'm talking to guys in my area it's been so difficult!

I'm not so sure I understand this statement as it suggests you were previously contacting men outside of your area. Does this mean you are using online dating sites? If so, I'm not real sure how I feel about this.

Okay, going out is a problem. Have you considered it might be easier having someone with you? It certainly helps me; but, of course the people I go out with know about my anxiety. Do you feel comfortable telling a prospective date that you have anxiety?

What about, as you first get to know someone you find activities that don't involve crowds. Perhaps making dinner? I suggest going for a walk. Even museums and galleries have fewer people and are relatively quiet. Is a coffee shop too busy a place for your anxiety?

[convalescence]

Walking Man, I agree with your last statement. That's very anxiety provoking for me. Yikes

Rcat, I have been talking to men online for about six years now, but only a few were in my area. I've never been on an actual date nor have I been kissed. It might help to have somebody with me. I could see how it could help. I don't have a problem telling people about my anxiety, but you know how people can react to mental health issues. "Well, it's just anxiety. It's really all in your head, so it can't be real." That's always how my family treats my anxiety. That's a marvelous idea. Thank you for your response.