[trabeabe]

I am very familiar with anxiety and panic attacks. However, recently (the last 4 or 5 days) I have really weird fears. It starts every night when I turn out the light to go upstairs. I feel like someone or something is behind me. Then when I get in bed and shut off the light, I have CONSTANT overlapping thoughts of demons being in my room, im afraid that when I open my eyes something or someone will be there. I even thought one night that my dog my actually have a demon inside her. She ALWAYS sleeps in front of me and this one night she slept in back of me. This made me wonder if she was a demon or if there might be a demon in front of me and thats why she stayed behind me. It's embarassing to talk about all this, cause it seems pretty farfetched I know, but it is almost paralyzing. I'm seriously wondering if it's anxiety, a psychotic break, or if there really are demons in my house. When I tell my friend about it, she kind of chuckles and says its just intrusive thoughts. But if thats the case what is causing it? Thanks for any help or ideas you can offer.

[Skeezyks]

Hello trabeabe: The Skeezyks has a lot of difficulty at night as well. I often wake up in the middle of the night & can't go back to sleep. I have something going on that I think is similar to restless leg syndrome... except that I feel it throughout my body. Plus I feel really nervous. What I typically do is to get up & do sort-of a walking meditation... walking throughout the house. During these times I have thoughts about being on the verge of a serious illness, of someone breaking in & assaulting me, & about losing my sanity (such as it is...) I also sometimes imagine that there are dark forces around me... although I know perfectly well that this is not the case.

The Skeezyks is an older person. And some of this is related to actual physical problems he has. But a lot of it is, I believe, simply the result of the large amount of generalized or free-floating anxiety I carry around with me 24 / 7. There's no reason for it anymore. But I've lived with high stress levels for so many years that it has just become a way of life.

One thing I know is that high levels of anxiety can wreak havoc with one's body as well as one's mind. It's like the steam in a pressure cooker. It's going to find its way out one way or another. So it find's the weakest link in the system & that's where it escapes. Perhaps, in your case, where your anxiety is coming out is at night. I obviously don't know, but I could imagine that if you can somehow find a way to reduce your anxiety to a significant degree, you might find that at least some, or perhaps much of what you are experiencing would go by the wayside. I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that it might be so...

Night time is a hard time for most of us. Our minds work overtime rationalizing, imagining, thinking a lot of what ifs. Basically anything outside of today is not a reality so that should let you know it is not real the fears you have. And concentrate on love, for that will give you a positive focus... even if it is your dog... blessings and tc

[eclogite]

Do you have a psychiatrist or a therapist? That might be a good place to start if you haven't. I'm wondering if it's something more than anxiety..

Also, it's normal for people to sometimes sleep with the light on. Maybe a small light could help you?

[trabeabe]

Originally Posted by eclogite

Do you have a psychiatrist or a therapist? That might be a good place to start if you haven't. I'm wondering if it's something more than anxiety..

Also, it's normal for people to sometimes sleep with the light on. Maybe a small light could help you?

Thanks and I do have a psychiatrist. I'm currently diagnosed with BPD, bipolar 2 , major depression, and gad.

[eclogite]

Hey! Me too! Except no longer BPD.

yes, talk to your mental healthcare team.

In the meantime, borrow my favourite page fom CBT/DBT. I have mentioned sevral times the Evidence Checklist. List off evidence for/against these demons. The act of making the list is therapeutic. The result of the list should give you a coping strategy.

[Misssy2]

Originally Posted by eclogite

Hey! Me too! Except no longer BPD.

just curious..no longer BPD? To my understanding BPD does not go away....

[dpellsworth]

You might be possessed j/i

[eclogite]

It can go away.. it's 5 symptoms out of 9. It can take a couple years, but you can recover and no longer struggle with one or two of them, bringing you below the number needed for the diagnosis. I no longer struggle with cutting or identity issues. All of the other symptoms are greatly diminished.

[eclogite]

I should mention that my bpd was relatively mild imo. I was in crisis for several years (not so productive times at therapy, but helped me cope). I never struggled with anger and only had impulsivity issues when, turns out, I was bipolar too. It's hard to distinguish between bpd and bp ii, but I sincerely think I struggled with both. I don't have that feeling of emptiness anymore, but I still struggle with abandonment quite a bit, and hypersensitivity limitedly.

[Wanderlust90]

I used to do this for days on end up until I was almost 20 & lived with my boyfriend so was rarely alone at night.

Something would set off my anxiety, or I would watch a horror movie or something stupid like that. I would be fine during the day (mostly, the creepy feelings were still in the back of my mind), then when night came I would be too scared to be alone. I couldn't close my eyes to sleep, I was petrified there was some sort of presence, (demon, ghost) in my room. I absolutely could not have the TV off for fear of hearing something, a whisper etc. I was wired awake, paralysed with fear, the sun would start to come up & I would get a couple hours sleep then go on with my day & do it all again the next night. When I was so young I wasn't allowed a TV on at night I read books.

I always figured it was anxiety, I have questioned if it bordered on paranoia & actually had something to do with my bipolar. Now I'm rarely alone at night, & in my 25 years have so far successfully not been tormented by a demon that's snuck in my room, I don't have so much of a problem but when I am alone, even with my 2 mean dogs I still have to have the TV on.