[gallifreystars]

I've always had a lot of sense and intelligence. But lately I've been questioning everything. I think part of the reason why I do this is my intelligence. I think too much. And I get scared. Lately I've been questioning everything about this life. And death. It'll hit me at any time, whether I'm laying in bed or sitting on the couch watching tv, or outside staring at the blue sky and vegetation, etc. There's no pattern. It's just I get these thoughts in my head that nothing is actually happening and this is all just a cruel game trying to tempt me. Religion, science... you have to choose the right path. I get these strange notions that none of this is right, that what I'm seeing and interpreting is really just false and not there. And it's weird. Weird that what I'm seeing cannot be real, cannot be the truth. And the fact that we are so tiny on this little world and in another hundred years, everything and myself will be gone. That's another fear I have, too. I fear whatever comes next. I also fear that my life is running by and that everything is meaningless and in another hundred years I won't even be myself anymore.
I try not to feel this way. But it does get to me. That everything is strange and unrealistic and that we must be living in a dream. It hits me the most at night, almost so much that I'm scared to go to sleep. I can't even explain the feeling. It's weird. Everything that is, is weird. I don't know. I probably am making no sense. I've looked into this matter and it always says that you're feeling this from drug use or a traumatic experience. I've never used drugs and there's nothing traumatic that I've faced, really. I feel disconnected at times, and that this all is just a test. The only time I really feel connected to my body and life is when I'm outside stargazing and looking through my telescope. Sometimes I can forget these feelings by being with friends, drawing, etc, but most of the time I feel strange and odd. As I said, I can't even explain it. It's just this internal crisis inside of me that says this isn't right. This is weird. I can't help but feel that I'm the only "conscious one" and all of this is made up. I know that's silly and i know I'm not mentally ill, I just let these thoughts get inside my head and change how I interpret things, you know? And I'm tired of feeling this way. I don't feel depressed, really. Just disconnected. Like life is a lie.
Anyways, none of this probably makes any sense but I just want to know if this fear is normal? And what I can do to accept everything the way it is and live life happily? I am scared of whatever comes next to this life and what life is anyways. I feel like it's weighing me down from living life normally. I'm only 15 and I know I shouldn't be worried about any of this but I really cannot help it. I just want to forget about the thoughts in my head and live happily like any other teenager. Any help or support would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

[Skeezyks]

Hi gallifreystars: I read somewhere that the Buddha said: "Nothing is hidden." I take this as my mantra. Life just is what it is. The trick is, as the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön has written, to learn to be "comfortable with uncertainty." I'm an old person now. But I can recall feeling much the way you describe many decades ago.

Years ago the late astronomer, Carl Sagan, did a TV series titled: "Cosmos". Perhaps you've heard of it. I recall in one segment he talked about how, when he was young, he would go out into his back yard at night, stretch out his arms, & wish to be whisked away by alien beings... ones that were presumably, more intelligent & more highly evolved, than we human beings are. I guess I still remember this because I did the same sort of thing.

There are, of course, no firm answers to any of this, although there are lots of people out there who will be glad to tell you they have the answers. (Often you too can have them... for a price...) But what is really important, at least from my perspective, is to learn to simply rest in the knowledge that nothing is certain... to be comfortable with uncertainty.

I walk quite a bit. Often late at night & during the wee hours of the morning. I'll walk slowly around-&-around my dark & quiet home focusing light attention on each foot as it touches the floor. Thoughts come & thoughts go. Even at my advanced age, some of these thoughts are similar to the ones you're having. I simply breathe into them... smile to them. Sometimes I may even place my hand over my heart as a sign of lovingkindness & compassion for them. After a few moments, I drop the "story line" (why are we here, what does it all mean...) & simply continue to breathe into the underlying emotion... that uncomfortable, "edginess" that accompanies those kinds of thoughts. I don't know any of the answers. But that's okay...

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Hi and !
I think that at some point or another most ppl wonder about their existance and the nature of life, the universe, and everything. ;D yes... that is a tie in..lol. I find my existential peace and relief from The Guide (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.) For those of us who's intellect is geared towards the abstract and in your perticular case the vastness of the universe, it can easily become consuming... Here is a quote from the guide that helps me kerp thing in perspective..."... The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied."~ Douglass Adams

[handheart]

Well the life its magic .nobody in this life dont understand it and cannot tell for sure what it is .But certainly you must enjoy it ,maybe we live in a dream and what ? Look on this world and watch on nature ,sea water plants etc ,everithing its so nice and miraculos but we dont see it because we are too negative