[CathM]

I just had yet another emotional breakdown where I cried so hard I made myself sick, so I figured I needed to talk to someone, even though I can't afford therapy right now.

I'm terrified of flies. I've always felt some revulsion at them but my husband and I moved into a house next to a funeral home two years ago, and every summer the house is invaded by blowflies. Whenever I hear the slightest buzz I cringe, and when I try to "face my fear" I wind up getting so overwhelmed and frightened that I break down. Some days, like today, there are at least ten in the house, and I don't even want to leave the bedroom, and I definitely don't want to go downstairs where they congregate. There are days I wait as long as possible to get food, even when I'm hungry, or try to hold my bladder as long as possible so I don't have to step out of the bedroom. I've tried everything to get rid of them but nothing has helped, and I'm tired of basically being a prisoner in my own house.

My husband doesn't understand my reaction. Even when I explained to him how I felt, he told me that it "wasn't a phobia, it was just a little anxiety". I hoped he would at least show some sympathy, but he seems to find my reactions irritating. He doesn't even try to kill the flies; he just ignores them. I even tried explaining the need to do it in logical terms-they carry disease, so they need to be taken care of-but it doesn't seem to matter to him, as long as it isn't affecting him.

I don't really have a question; I guess I just needed to get this off my chest to someone who might understand. Thanks.

[QueenCopper]

Oh my goodness! So sorry those big ugly things are in your space. I HATE bugs and anything that buzzes even a little scares me. No words of advice just wanted to tell you I am sorry. I cannot imagine hearing that e v very day. ((((((Hugs))))))

[handheart]

Well flies cannot make you something bad but i understand your phobia its awful ,i think you should try to search for profesional help

[CathM]

QueenCopper, handheart, thanks for the responses! I'm going to look into therapy once I've started my new job and have some income coming in. I've been spending the last week struggling with these feelings, but also trying to find concrete solutions to the problem. I talked to my husband and he's been making a stronger effort at being understanding.

It feels like just coming here and letting it out helped, so thank you. :-)

[cinnamonstick]

I am glad to hear you are Looking for solutions and your husband is being more understanding. It's a really great place to start.