Severe anxiety talking on phone

ComfortablyNumb5 · Jul 24, 2016, 12:11 PM

I've had this problem for years now. I thank god for texting and I hate when I text someone and instead of replying, they call! And it's really starting to effect my life. I had a phone interview for SSI the other day and I was too anxious to even answer the call so I screwed up there big time. And I've had a voicemail on my phone for two weeks now that I haven't returned. When I do answer my phone, I pace around my house when I talk because I'm so nervous. I wish I could get over it!

And for the love of God grandma, learn to text! Lol

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Nimportequoi · Jul 24, 2016, 02:34 PM

Hey

I'm the same. It really skrews up my life for sure. It really sucks. So many things stocked up which actually nedd to be done but which require phone calls....

Jul 24, 2016, 06:44 PM

For 3 years I simply could not answer the phone - even when I recognized the caller's number. I had to let it go to voice mail. Even then it would be terrifying to listen to the messages. I was convinced something bad had happened. Therapy has helped and now I am able to answer the call again. In fact, I prefer an actual conversation to texting.

BrazenApogee · Jul 24, 2016, 06:53 PM

It takes me a long time to be able to call anyone. I have to build up for days and days in order to do it. I'll write out everything I want to say on a piece of paper and keep the paper handy to doodle on while I talk.

ComfortablyNumb5 · Jul 24, 2016, 08:05 PM

I can relate to all these replies. Listening to voicemails makes me anxious too. I should of started therapy 2 months ago but when the therapist calls to set an appointment, I won't answer. Then they leave a voicemail and I won't call back for two weeks. So I procrastinate on that. I have so many things I need to take care of that could of been done months ago. Text message is the best thing that's ever happened to me lol. I have one friend where I'll text her and she'll call instead of reply. I don't answer and I text back saying "sorry in the middle of something can't talk". Every time I do this to her

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Darth_Rattus · Jul 24, 2016, 08:27 PM

Fortunately, or maybe not, this is something a lot of people deal with as you can tell from the replies! Have you seen any of those funny videos about the random things we do while on the phone? Running around the house, climbing up things, playing with animals and toys, all sorts of stuff.

A lot of those things and others that can seem like bad habits can turn into coping mechanisms. You pace while on the phone- is there anything else you can do to make yourself less nervous? Dance? Have something to drink? Write down what you might say beforehand like BrazenApogee does? Text a friend and ask them if they'd be ok having some random phone calls where you don't talk much if at all just so you can get used to it?

It'll take some testing to figure out what works for you, and perhaps nothing will make you feel much better, but trouble having phone calls is by no means uncommon, so don't be too hard on yourself!

Jul 25, 2016, 10:50 AM

I completely relate to anxiety and talking on the phone. I'm fine with text but that's it.

88Butterfly88 · Jul 25, 2016, 12:11 PM

I'm the same way too. Can you have call SSI for you?

TishaBuv · Jul 25, 2016, 12:26 PM

For my career, I am supposed to be cold calling strangers. I won't do it. I do get anxious about making phone calls generally, and sometimes avoid the calls. I really like texting for this reason, too. Some of my customers really prefer texting, which is fine with me. If they text me, I text them back unless I absolutely need to call.

I think the young generation is so used to texting they are really lacking in telephone skills. It's like it wouldn't even occur to them to pick up the phone and call. Calling is out of style, so I guess that's good for your anxiety.

Yours_Truly · Jul 25, 2016, 01:05 PM

I've gone through this in my life as well. It's especially bad when you're supposed to be settling an estate & people want their money NOW. They just don't understand how hard a call(s) can be.

Jul 26, 2016, 08:18 AM

I quit my last job because part of it involved taking phonecalls.

ComfortablyNumb5 · Jul 29, 2016, 06:13 PM

I just wanted to update. Well I had some anxiety today so I took my PRN and felt like making a callback from a voicemail that was left for me 2-3 weeks ago. It was to my new therapist that I haven't met yet. Of course I was praying the call would have went to her voicemail but she answered! I told her sorry and that I have a issue with talking on the phone and I made a funny light out of it, probably because I was nervous. She laughed and said "well that's something we can work on in therapy!" That gave me some comfort. She actually sounded like many of her patients have this same problem. So I just want to let you all know that I did it! I made a phone call! Even tho it took help from my anxiety med. Now I only have one more serious phone call to make which will have to wait till Monday now. Hopefully I can do it.

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Evaluna · Jul 29, 2016, 07:19 PM

Me too and I work as a receptionist! I never used to be like this, but the last few years have been very hard. At work it's incoming calls and I know my job so I just kind of go on autopilot.

There are only 3 people who I will talk to on the phone and anyone else I can't deal with it. A few people mentioned voicemails and I am exactly the same. If I see that little icon on my phone it makes me feel sick especially if I don't know the number. Luckily when I moved my new house is very old and has very bad signal so I ask everyone to text because it's impossible to have a phone conversation but some people still try it and then get mad at me when I don't pick up.

If I have to speak to a customer at work and call them it takes me hours to work up the courage!!

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ComfortablyNumb5 · Jul 29, 2016, 08:52 PM

I worked at Drs offices too and every time the phone would ring I would pretend I was busy so someone else would have to get it. I was a receptionist that wouldn't answer the phones. That job didn't go well

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BrazenApogee · Aug 05, 2016, 05:29 PM

Congrats!

That sounds like an awesome T answer. I hope they are great.

I had a phone call myself today that was difficult. It was about a job. I "floated" right through the conversation, and then went for a very brisk walk to get rid of the anxiety

jjgbirder · Aug 10, 2016, 03:54 PM

You are not alone. I too try to avoid phone calls, but only with strangers. I had a difficult time this summer with my M.S. thesis-work trying to make phone calls to strangers. I found when talking to strangers, having a script really does help.

I am still nervous talking to people I don't know over the phone (especially now as I struggle with a bought of depression / anxiety). It is possible (with practice) to get better, it just takes time. Sending you hugs!

Aug 13, 2016, 07:09 PM

Congrats on that!

I have wondered recently if this is something that happens with time....I never used to dislike speaking on the phone. My dad hates it and now I hate it. I wish I wasn't like this, tbh. It seems like such an odd phobia to develop as it doesn't have any connection to anything afaik...

Unrigged64072835 · Aug 13, 2016, 07:26 PM

Congratulations on making your calls.

I'm afraid of making calls. I usually feel stupid for calling and for my voice sounding weird.

handheart · Aug 16, 2016, 12:37 AM

Try to speak as much as you can at phone witb a family member anx speak also like you are called for an interview and doing this your brain will learn easu by easy to accept

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