[Eleny]

I am extremely anxious in one to one situations but in a group I am completely comfortable. It makes me feel like a fraud because people tend to think I'm socially confident, but once I'm on my own with someone I become very anxious.

I don't know how to handle this. I can't seem to think of what to say and then it becomes clear how uncomfortable I am because my face and body language can't hide it. I avoid to one to one scenarios as much as possible and it makes it difficult to maintain friendships. Why does this happen to me? Can anyone relate and if so, have you learned any ways to deal with it?

[autumn15]

Hi Eleny,

I can definitely relate with you. In a group situation I always feel like there is less pressure on me to engage or keep the conversation alive. I don't feel as though people are paying as much attention to me. Then again eventually I feel drained and crave to be have more of a part in conversations.

With one on one though, I am always on edge. Worried about whether the other person is finding me interesting (even with my own parents sometimes!), mind going blank when It's my turn to talk. I find it hard to make eye contact because I end up blushing and feel really self conscious. I get really sweaty and fidgety too. It's so frustrating for me because I want to have good friendships but get so anxious that it leads me to avoiding the situations altogether!

Have a look at this article:

https://www.anxietybc.com/sites/defa...t_hmsocial.pdf

I had coffee with a friend the other day and kept reminding myself that it's ok to be uncomfortable, that the other person wants to spend time with me and that it's ok to let awkward silence happen. I tried to focus on my breathing whenever I started getting overcome. I was still feeling anxious but definitely felt more positive about the interaction overall.

I guess time and practice is key!

[handheart]

Well maybe you create a habbit in your subconstient mind that tells you you cannot deal with person face to face .You must reprogram that paradigm by thinking and telling you each day that you are perfectly confortable wit one to one person .You must be persisten with this and you will succed