[Snowsunshine]

Hello,so I'm 16 and I suffer from an anxiety disorder(it isn't social Anxiety but I think those who suffer from it will be able to answer me better).I have kissed,dated and stuff but I get so terribly anxious when I'm going to hook up(just making out)with someone.I don't get nervous about the Kiss itself but about the before of it and it has made me say no to this guy which we had agreed to Kiss on Friday and I just feel so sad about it,like I failed.
My therapist told me maybe I'm not really ready and that I should respect my limits but I'm just so sad with myself,because I really wanted to Kiss him.Do You have any tips?by the way,I am already on medication,therapy,yoga and all of that.I am really struggling with this(at the point of having a date makes me unable to sleep for a week)which is very new for me since I never had social issues before.I'd very much appreciate your help.

[damz68]

Originally Posted by Snowsunshine

Hello,so I'm 16 and I suffer from an anxiety disorder(it isn't social Anxiety but I think those who suffer from it will be able to answer me better).I have kissed,dated and stuff but I get so terribly anxious when I'm going to hook up(just making out)with someone.I don't get nervous about the Kiss itself but about the before of it and it has made me say no to this guy which we had agreed to Kiss on Friday and I just feel so sad about it,like I failed.
My therapist told me maybe I'm not really ready and that I should respect my limits but I'm just so sad with myself,because I really wanted to Kiss him.Do You have any tips?by the way,I am already on medication,therapy,yoga and all of that.I am really struggling with this(at the point of having a date makes me unable to sleep for a week)which is very new for me since I never had social issues before.I'd very much appreciate your help.

I think when it comes to finding a mate, anxiety is a great thing. I had my chances to hook up many times before I met my wife. When I was not comfortable it never happened and that was everyone prior to my wife. When I met my wife, we kissed on the first date. I was comfortable, she was comfortable, when you know, you know. She was literally the first girl I ever kissed in that way. That was back in 1991 and I just kissed her again 10 minutes ago.

If you do not feel 100% comfortable, maybe he is not the right guy. Eventually you will find that guy. I am not saying you should break up with him, but comfort means a lot in a long relationship, if that is what you are looking for?

[handheart]

Yea i am also agree with your therapist sometime 16 years its too little to be prepared for a relationship .I think you should have patience and take it easy and time will fix this problem

[Nike007]

Greetings. I am also the same age as you and maybe you (or just your mind) don't feel like you're ready to move that high in "relationship status".

Maybe start smaller like holding hands or hugging or even just a kiss on the cheek? Maybe your mind and body will feel more comfortable starting small. Also, if you feel comfortable, maybe explain that dating makes you anxious. You don't need to say you have an anxiety disorder or anything, just how you feel. Maybe they will take a better understanding into the situation?

You can try doing meditation daily. That may also help.

[defyinggravity65]

Originally Posted by Snowsunshine

Hello,so I'm 16 and I suffer from an anxiety disorder(it isn't social Anxiety but I think those who suffer from it will be able to answer me better).I have kissed,dated and stuff but I get so terribly anxious when I'm going to hook up(just making out)with someone.I don't get nervous about the Kiss itself but about the before of it and it has made me say no to this guy which we had agreed to Kiss on Friday and I just feel so sad about it,like I failed.
My therapist told me maybe I'm not really ready and that I should respect my limits but I'm just so sad with myself,because I really wanted to Kiss him.Do You have any tips?by the way,I am already on medication,therapy,yoga and all of that.I am really struggling with this(at the point of having a date makes me unable to sleep for a week)which is very new for me since I never had social issues before.I'd very much appreciate your help.

My suggestion is to maybe not plan out exactly when you are going to kiss someone, that way you won't have the worry and anticipation of waiting for it. When you are hanging out with a boy you like, take control of the situation. If he tries to kiss you and you are not ready, don't let it happen. If you like a boy and you want to kiss him, decide in the moment to just go for it. I would hate to have to wait all week knowing I'm going to kiss someone on Friday...I would be nervous too!