Hello,

I haven't been diagnosed officially, but at first I thought I have social anxiety because I avoid and become socially awkward around people. But then I discovered I get anxious about everything: if I closed the door, if I have the keys in my pocket, if I have my wallet, ... etc.

These days I'm very anxious about making a huge decision in my life, which is to stay abroad or go home. Every-time I "decide" in favor of one option, I get very anxious about thoughts like "what if this isn't the right decision?". Then I change my mind, then I become anxious again "what if it's not the right decision?", and so on. I've been trapped in this cycle for about 2 months. Basically I cannot decide. The problem is that I keep informing the related parties about my decision everytime, and I feel that I lost their respect because of that. Why do I tell them if I'm no decided? Because at the time I make my decision, I feel confident about it, but then after a couple of days my confidence in my decision decays, and my anxiety becomes very high

I noticed this pattern in me. For example, sometimes I decide to buy something while at home, but when I arrive at the store I ask myself: "is it necessary to buy this?". Most of the time I go home without buying it.

It doesn't just bother the people around me, but it bothers me a lot. I already have low self-esteem, and this indecisiveness diminishes my confidence. I'm so depressed right now, and so angry at myself.

Have you ever felt this way? Do you think indecisiveness is related to GAD? And how do you deal with it?

No therapy suggestion please.

Thanks

[Yzen]

I have this issue too. I think indecisiveness is based in fears such as: Fear of making a mistake; fear of being judged by others; fear of not being able to handle the result of the choice; fear of the uncertain outcome. Those are some of the same fears that can cause anxiety.

For me, building trust in myself is key. To do that requires taking action and deciding you will handle the outcome no matter what happens. You have to trust you will adjust if things don't go perfect. It is ok if the decision is not perfect...tweak it to make it work for you after the fact. I think it takes practice with actions to learn to be at peace with the decision-making process and learning self trust.

Another thing that helps me when faced with a decision, is to ask questions that remove the fear element from the decision like "which option would I choose if I knew a great outcome was certain?" or "which option would I choose if I didn't have to answer to anyone but myself?"

[Unrigged64072835]

Either situation is going to have pros and cons. You're going to keep wondering until you make it and don't look back. You may want to write out what are the pros and cons of each situation and maybe it will become clearer to you,

[LucyG]

Don't view every decision you make as life changing or the end-all, be-all that will determine the course of your life. Make a decision for today or this week, and let tomorrow, next week, next month and next year take care of themselves. Learn to live in the moment.

Also, STOP beating yourself up!! I say with with love and concern for you as I've done this to myself most of my life. I'm one of those people whose willing to take the blame for anything and everything that happens to anyone and everyone. I've had to really work on coming to understand that I can't control what anyone does but me. I can't even control my dogs, son or husband.

You probably also have some physiological issues going on that are making you anxious so if you aren't on meds, here are some articles about how to treat anxiety with amino acids that are the building block of neurotransmitters. Those of us with mood disorders, anxiety and things like OCD generally aren't able to produce enough neurotransmitters without taking supplements. I compare it to an insulin dependent diabetic.

The Unspoken Solution for Anxiety: Individual Amino Acids

Amino Acid Therapy for Depression and Anxiety

This is an article about natural anti-anxiety herbs and supplements:

Natural Alternatives To Xanax, Ativan, And Anti-Anxiety Drugs - Reset.me

This is a brain function questionnaire that shows the emotions and feelings that are associated with various neurotransmitters. I used this when I started using amino acids to control my bipolar 2 after I went off meds.

http://drjolee.com/Brain-Function-Questionnaire.pdf

Thanks all. Actually I wrote down the pros and cons of this particular decision I'm making, and it's a huge one for me. On one hand, if I stayed abroad I will have better life, but I'm alone. On the other hand, if I go home, I will have less life quality but with family around me.

I'm not particularly happy now, but I think in the long run if I get married, for example, my life will be better. On the other hand, if I go home now, I'm not sure if I will be happy or not, and I'm afraid to loose my opportunity to live a better life, and will regret it all my life.

This particular decision is very hard for me. Other decisions I make are minors, and I forget all about them very quickly. But this one triggers me big time.