[Amy_Butler]

I have really bad social anxiety, and am constantly afraid that I annoy people. Even though I try to tell myself otherwise, I just really struggle with it. The thing is, a lot of the time it's for absolutely no reason - a friend might take too long to answer a text message, so my mind goes into overdrive about why this may have happened, or I'll constantly analyse conversations and text messages and draw all these ridiculous conclusions.

When I was in high school, I got bullied a lot by my group of 'friends.' That affected me a lot, and even if a conversation/meet up with friend goes well, I'll keep saying to myself, 'well, your group in school found you annoying, how can this person have such a different view...' Or I'll have a really good conversation with someone, we'll be joking around, having a really good time, and later I'll start thinking. This is basically what will be going through my mind:

'they probably found you really annoying, but were hiding it to be nice'
'yeah but there were heaps of occasions when they approached you first'
'yeah but they probably just felt like they were being rude if they didn't say anything'

And then even though I know I'm being ridiculous, I'll start thinking these things over and over, and I'll start to actually believe them even though I KNOW it makes no sense. I just hate feeling this way, because it really ruins some of my relationships. I hide it pretty well from other people, but it affects how I perceive my relationships with them - like one of my best friends, who I'm pretty sure genuinely likes hanging with me. We have great interactions, she asks me to hang out with her heaps of times - but then I start coming up with all this ridiculous reasoning for why she might want to hang out with me, and even though I KNOW it's crazy, it's hard to get those thoughts out of my head. I keep trying to work through this, but even when I try to block these thoughts/feelings, it just stays on my mind until I go through them.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Amy_Butler: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with your social anxiety. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

So sorry to read your post.

This I think falls into the realm of 'Catastophic Thinking'. I have both social and generalized anxiety and really fret about what other people think of me; not just am I making a fool of myself, but am I annoying or pissing off those around me. And yes, leaping to worst case scenarios is part and parcel with this. So too is low self-worth. Could this be part of the case? You've mentioned the bullying which is a classic contributor to this sort of thinking.

So, what can you do. Well, therapy can help. Personally I found Cognative Behavior Therapy (CBT) to be beneficial. It taught me a number of coping skills; in particular, de-constructing catastrophic thinking.

[Hobbit House]

Welcome to our site. I hope you find everything you need.
My wife and I both have the same issues you just described. We've been working on it for some time now but some days are better then others . Still it Does get better. I hope you find the help you looking for here!

[luvyrself]

Originally Posted by Amy_Butler

I have really bad social anxiety, and am constantly afraid that I annoy people. Even though I try to tell myself otherwise, I just really struggle with it. The thing is, a lot of the time it's for absolutely no reason - a friend might take too long to answer a text message, so my mind goes into overdrive about why this may have happened, or I'll constantly analyse conversations and text messages and draw all these ridiculous conclusions.

When I was in high school, I got bullied a lot by my group of 'friends.' That affected me a lot, and even if a conversation/meet up with friend goes well, I'll keep saying to myself, 'well, your group in school found you annoying, how can this person have such a different view...' Or I'll have a really good conversation with someone, we'll be joking around, having a really good time, and later I'll start thinking. This is basically what will be going through my mind:

'they probably found you really annoying, but were hiding it to be nice'
'yeah but there were heaps of occasions when they approached you first'
'yeah but they probably just felt like they were being rude if they didn't say
anything'

And then even though I know I'm being ridiculous, I'll start thinking these things over and over, and I'll start to actually believe them even though I KNOW it makes no sense. I just hate feeling this way, because it really ruins some of my relationships. I hide it pretty well from other people, but it affects how I perceive my relationships with them - like one of my best friends, who I'm pretty sure genuinely likes hanging with me. We have great interactions, she asks me to
hang out with her heaps of times - but then I start coming up with all this ridiculous reasoning for why she might want to hang out with me, and even though I KNOW it's crazy, it's hard to get those thoughts out of my head. I keep trying to work through this, but even when I try to block these thoughts/feelings, it just stays on my mind until I go through them.

-------do you have a psych team to help you? Pdoc, therapist, group? I was painfully shy in high school. I had a short job in a mall giving marketing surveys and it really helped. Still pretty introverted, avoidant. Years later i taught elem school where you have to bark something out sometimes. so now if i act abruptly people REALLY dont like me. My bp2 mixed and gad dont help. I hope you can see the humor in this. Typically bipolar, my challenge is to strike a balance. So desensitization can work. Im sure you would never go to the other extreme since there is no Cause for that. Hugs!