[bornunderabadsign]

There are a number of things that really trigger my anxiety. But there is one that really bothers me and I know I need to work on it because it will happen eventually and there isn’t anything I can do to stop it. I’m talking about the death of my parents.
Neither one of my parents are in good health, my dad more so than my mom. I haven’t worked in a while because we can’t afford a home health aide and my dad needs someone to help him with everyday things like showering, organizing his medicines and making sure he takes them when he is supposed to, he even needs help feeding himself from time to time. My mom is in better health but she has heart trouble and like me suffers with mental illness.


I have nightmares about losing them and it often makes me cry just thinking about it. I’m so afraid of their death and being alone after that it chokes me up. It terrifies me to the point that I even have trouble talking about it with a T. They are all I really have and even they don’t really understand my issues but they have always been there for me even when they didn’t agree with my life choices or lack of life choices.


I don’t know what I would do without them. I don’t know how to even deal with it and they are still alive. I don’t know if I can cope with it once they are gone.

[Travelinglady]

Hey, bornunderabadsign. Are you dependent on your parents financially? Do they take care of you in any way? Is it more of a strong emotional attachment?

I know I'll miss my mom. My dad died 20 years ago. I still miss him.

Do you have other relatives? A therapist? There are other people who can help us when we lose our loved ones. Okay?

[bornunderabadsign]

I don't work because my dad needs someone with him at all times. He suffers from a number of problems but only one requires someone to be with him 24/7 and that is dementia. My mom used to look after him mostly by herself but that was before her on problems got bad enough that she needed help herself.

In short, I am financially dependent on them. I have a pretty good list of health problems myself but with medication and therapy I can deal with them most of the time. I do have times when I'm not much use. I had some savings that kept me afloat but now I've run through it all.

My connection to my parents is strong and is even a little worrisome to my therapist. I do have other family but the ones I really connect with other than my parents either live a good distance a way or are workaholics. The one exception is my aunt but she is in a similar situation as me in that she is a caretaker and doesn't have a lot of time or ability to visit if and when I need her or she needs me.

The only other person that I really connected with passed away almost four years ago. Most of my good friends have been people twenty to forty years my senior.

Hi! My parents are healthy, but every time I think about their death I have a panic attack. The death of loved ones is hard, more so if you are dependent on them. I don't know if this is something you have considered, but have you thought about working online? In this case you can be close to your parents to take care of them and work at the same time to take care of yourself. I think it is worth considering. I wish you all the best

[bornunderabadsign]

As far as taking care of myself other than physical labor which I have trouble doing now because of nerve damage and working in retail which drives my anxiety through the roof I don't have many marketable skills. I wish I could make more money without being to far from my parents if not for my own use but as a way to pay off what they owe to their hospital and other health related bills.

I've started to play around with web development and general programming but I'm a long way from being able to use that in a meaningful way.

That's good. After learning some programming languages, I suggest to take part in open projects. You can do all of that while at home. Employers consider that. You can prove it by putting your files and programs in your portfolio on GitHub, for example.