[BlueMerleGirl]

Hello all,
I wasn't sure whether to post this in the anxiety or depression forum. I have always known I wanted kids, and I have an almost 14 month old daughter now. I had fertility issues and it took a while to conceive her but once I got help the process of getting pregnant went pretty fast.

She gives me so much joy and I love being a mom. And we will probably have a second kid eventually. But I am just wondering how more kids will impact my mental health? I mean with just one it isn't that hard to get a little time for myself. It's easy to just let my husband watch her while I take a bath, or watch a tv show while she's sleeping (although she's a bad sleeper). I know coordinating multiple kids will be so much harder and I am wondering if my mental health can take it. It's like I don't want to deprive myself of the joy of more children but I also don't want more than my mental health can handle.

I know this sounds ridiculous and is somewhat unrelated but it kind of reminds me of getting a second dog. I got one dog and wanted a second. But it certainly didn't double the joy. In fact it reduced the number of things I could do with my dogs since there are two of them and it's not so easy to bring them along. I love both dogs but sometimes I think if I could go back in time I would just have one dog. I think about this a lot when I think about having more kids.

Does anyone have any thoughts or experience with the issue of mental health problems and having more kids?

Thanks

Are you perhaps depressed? Could this be a case of post partum depression? Yes it has been sometime since you had your child but left untreated this can linger on for some time.

Don't knock yourself for this and your feelings however. What is going through your mind is perfectly normal.

It is great that your husband is helping you out. Note though there is a difference between being a helper and a parent. I just noticed that you described his role as helper and that stood out to me a great deal.

But back to your question. It and your experience are normal. I think the idea of other children has everything to do with your current experience(s) and what sort of supports you have in place. Personally, I know my ill mental health impacted my children. I am thinking though that had I the benefit then of a diagnosis, treatment, medication, and other management tools that I could have avoided those events I regret.