[Rose76]

I mostly stay with my boyfriend at his place because he is in need of care due to worsening health. About once a week, when he has an attendant for 6 hours, I go home to my apartment to pick up mail and do a few things in my own place. I get what I believe is an anxiety problem.

My apartment feels spooky and weird. I think to myself how - when he is gone - I will come home to my own place for good and I think how alone I feel there. I put the TV on kind of for company, so my apartment feels less spooky. Then I'm afraid to turn it off. Even if I go to lie down in bed, or to take a bath . . . I'm afraid to turn off the TV because it'll get more spooky, if I don't hear voices.

On rare occasions when I sleep at my place, I tend to leave the TV on in the livingroom all night, while I'm in my bedroom. It's a waste of electricity and will probably wear out the TV sooner.

I hate that feeling of feeling like I am afraid to turn off the TV. I believe this is a combination of depression and anxiety.

Sometimes it goes away and I can read with no TV or radio on. That comfort level can occur after I'm in my place for a few days. But I'm never there that long now, so I never get past that spooky feeling.

[*Laurie*]

I so feel for you, Rose. For the first time in my life, I live alone. I feel scared all the time. "Spooky and weird" is a good description. I turn my TV off when I sleep, but it's on (or music) the rest of the time.

What, exactly, are you scared of...is it the aloneness, or are you afraid of someone breaking into your home?

[Rose76]

No, I'm not afraid of anything in particular. I don't worry about anyone breaking in. I even kind of like being alone. I can't explain it.

In the past, if I stayed at my place, the uneasy feeling would pass, after a couple of days. Then I would feel quite content . . . and happy to be home.

Now I'm never home long enough to get past that initial eerie feeling. So, while I'm there, I need some way to feel connected to the human race. So the sound of voices coming out of the TV soothes me . . . a little. Especially, if it's a live broadcast, like a news show. I feel like I'm hearing a live, breathing human being. Like it's not a tape. Like the TV is a window and, through it, I can see somebody who's really there.

I am alone a lot. I always have been. I probably like being alone more than most people. But I'm human and I wasn't born to be a hermit.

[RainyDay107]

Turning several lights on is what I did when I lived alone. If someone was going to break in, I guesstimated they go for a dark home.

[Rose76]

Lighting candles also helps me. The flame seems like a living thing.

[RainyDay107]

Candles are wonderful. I have them scattered throughout my house.

Oh geeze I have slept with the TV on for the last 15 years. I leave it on all night. I am not particularly afraid of anything but while I am falling asleep what is going on -- on the tv distracts my mind so my body can go to sleep. I see nothing wrong with it. Recently I have turned the TV off at night just to start weening or because I don't feel I need it. And get this, my cat seems bothered by it. Getting up and crying at 3 AM if I don't have it on. So clearly the silence bothers my cat.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Rose76

No, I'm not afraid of anything in particular. I don't worry about anyone breaking in. I even kind of like being alone. I can't explain it.

In the past, if I stayed at my place, the uneasy feeling would pass, after a couple of days. Then I would feel quite content . . . and happy to be home.

Now I'm never home long enough to get past that initial eerie feeling. So, while I'm there, I need some way to feel connected to the human race. So the sound of voices coming out of the TV soothes me . . . a little. Especially, if it's a live broadcast, like a news show. I feel like I'm hearing a live, breathing human being. Like it's not a tape. Like the TV is a window and, through it, I can see somebody who's really there.

I am alone a lot. I always have been. I probably like being alone more than most people. But I'm human and I wasn't born to be a hermit.

Yes..."eerie feeling"...everything...honestly, I could have written your post.

I think it's fine for you to have your TV on as much as you want to to feel better.

[Rose76]

I know there's no reason not to. I just wish I didn't have that feeling. And the TV on doesn't really relieve it. It helps a little.

thanks laurie for getting it

[feeshee]

Hello Rose, I live alone and I understand how you feel. I'm home about all the time and keep TV on during day but off while I sleep. Like you, the sound of conversation on TV comforts me somehow. I don't really watch it......just keep it on for background. Sometimes I feel strange in my home......especially in certain rooms. So you're not along in feeling this way. Wishing you comfort.