[Monarch Butterfly]

My anxiety worsened during and after an abusive relationship. I left him. He was a very violent man. My parents were abusive too. Plus other traumas I endured.
My family, parents, two older siblings are not supportive. A lot of judgment, blame, lack of support for many years. I tend to hlde my emotions inside.

However there are situations where I have intrusive negative thoughts. They will judge me, won't listen to me, won't take me seriously, ignore me. Sometimes I look ahead to future interactions with people and my mind rolls. And due to bad experiences in the past, if a similar situation is approaching, I assume the worse. Remember the previous negative experience.

If I stuffed a bag full of apples, it broke, I wouldn't feel upset. If someone commented you should have been more careful stuffing the bag, it wouldnt bother me. But there are certain situations I feel more sensitive or anxious. Certain kinds of professional people (Doctors) or situations can trigger intrusive thoughts or negativity.

Anyone else similar? What do you find helps?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Butterfly: Well... intrusive thoughts are something I struggle with every hour of every day, pretty much. Among other things, I practice "compassionate abiding". (Perhaps I've mentioned it in a previous reply to one of your posts? I mention it a lot because I'm so taken with it.) It's a Buddhist practice. But one doesn't have to be a Buddhist to benefit from it. Here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

May it be of benefit.

[Unrigged64072835]

If your parents were abusive, they may have ingrained certain words and thoughts. I know most of my intrusive thoughts are from my parent's abusive. I would not normally say those things to myself. The relationship you left may reflect that as well.

It wouldn't hurt to find a therapist or counselor who could help you break these chains of anxiety and negative thinking.

[Monarch Butterfly]

Skeezyks thanks for the link. I'll take a look.

Fharraige. Yes I think the ingrained thoughts are from my parents and ex bf. Plus bad experiences with other people.

I plan on finding a new therapist. Past ones were not good. One was creepy, other fell asleep during appointment.

[Sorry4Ever]

I hope you're feeling better now. I was abused sexually, physically and mentally by my mothers ex girlfriend when my mother was away. If I had said anything we would have been homeless. I went on with my life but got in trouble with petty things and finally I moved away from the trouble, became a nanny and then met a man I married. After my marriage was over I found myself in financial trouble again but I started a business that I was very proud of. I was able to pay my bills and save money but I was approached by a Chinese company who convinced me that I could sell products here in the United States which turned out to be illegal. Now I'm in trouble again at the age of 55 so I will understand anxiety and fear. As much as I have tried to stay out of trouble it always seems to find me again. My anxiety is situational but now all of those horrible feelings of the abuse her back in my mind. I fight this off each day and by the end of the night I'm numb. I'm able to sleep but wake up very early with the starts all over again. I always used to be a morning person but not anymore. I hope you find the piece that you need. I hope we both do.