Fear of going crazy

I'm freaking out because I'm worried that I might have schizophrenia.

I am not experiencing any hallucinations but I have heard that people with schizophrenia sometimes make weird sentences that others do not comprehend. I think I tend to mix up/misspell words or fail to tell a story chronologically, mostly when I'm really nervous or anxious and I'm also very self-conscious when in public. I also feel like when someone is laughing with someone near me that they might be laughing at me.

I am really torn though because I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and since I'm almost 99% of the time experiencing these "symptoms" when I'm anxious, that it might just be my anxiety giving me a hard time.

However, since my father is schizophrenic and I've had to listen to his crazy paranoid stories throughout my entire childhood, it is one of my (if not THE) biggest fears of mine that I might end up like him. Especially because it is a known fact that schizophrenia can be genetically inherited.

The problem here is that this fear has been nagging on me for over a week now - and yes, by that I mean 24 hours a day. It starts just after waking up and I can't stop thinking about it until I fall asleep from exhaustion. Is it normal to experience a panic attack that lasts for over a week?! I have never heard of this.

Disclaimer: please don't just tell me I'm "okay", I'd rather hear whether other people who have been diagnosed with anxiety have similar symptoms. Thank you for understanding!

Having anxiety myself, I have never had those symptoms although mine have made me question if I am going crazy. I would not tell you that you are okay because you are clearly struggling mightily against something that is legitimate. You are right. It can be inherited. The only thing I know to tell you is to take the tiger by the tail. Make an appointment with a pdoc that you respect and tell him everything you've just said here. He will be able to help you through this. Waking up and going to bed with a panic attack everyday has got to be doing a number on you. I don't see how you're even functioning. I am so sorry you are having a tough time. I hope you will see a pdoc sooner rather than later so he can relieve your fears whether they turn out to be true or not. Thinking of you.....

Hi Kitsune,

I have an anxiety disorder as well. I can only tell you that I worry excessively about different issues that happen at work and public places. Yes, I worry people are making fun of me or laughing at me for no particular reason. I feel I am obsessive about some issues. I used medication for awhile (Lorazepam), it really does help and talking to a therapist helps as well.

Have you discussed your fear about Schizophrenia with your doctor? Having that discussion may ease your fears.

Regarding the Schizophrenia, I have a Bipolar Schizophrenic sister. Many of my family members have Bipolar Disorder with Paranoia. I can relate to your situation.

Hang in there. I hope you find the answers you seek.

Pinkrose

I have also had anxiety all my life, I've realised it's not how other people experience the world when been given medication for anxiety/depression and suddenly the anxiety went lower. Unfortunately I had to stop the meds. Have been living in overwhelm all my life and sick of it...

But what you are describing here is what I'm experiencing as well. Also the sensation that people are laughing at me. I'm forgetting words when with people, sometimes telling the wrong words. I think this is anxiety.
What also happens is that words just come and I speak while somehow I don't understand completely what I say. Not sure how to explain. Also, what is happening lately is that I can't really remember standard sentences, like what you say in specific situations...so I create them always on the spot, not like others who just repeat the same expressions. Maybe that's a refreshing thing in our authomatised society. Or maybe I do have issues.
But it does bother me.
I think people with schizofrenia might put together words that have no meaning together at all. But maybe just some of them, no idea.

I have experienced halucinations but only a couple of times and that doesn't have to be schizofrenia.
I also have a few relatives with schizofrenia on my father's side and I've always been a bit preoccupied if I'll be the next one in the family.

In your case though, as you have this constant worry, this anxiety or panic of constantly thinking about it might be more of the issue. I'm not saying I am sure, can't be, but it sounds like you are really suffering. I don't know if you are seeing a therapist or doctor but that would definitly help to clarify this.

As someone with both an anxiety disorder and psychosis(voices etc) I can tell you that schizophrenia isn't something you're going to worry about, if it happens it's really likely you'll have no idea...you lose insight into your own condition. Even if you do develop sz, it's really treatable if they catch it early. I'm not sure if you're seeing a psychiatrist, but talking to one may put your mind at ease.