I’m starting to fear online people

I would love everyone’s feedback if any. Maybe this mostly a venting post? Idk. Sorry. This is really eating me up alive inside. I’ve been catfished by people on other websites. Just yesterday I deleted my account on another site because of being catfished and hurt by someone I trusted as a good friend. Then I come here PC to find out one of the biggest posters is a catfisher. I don’t have any local friends here in Los Angeles county. Two of my best friends ever have committed suicide. I have one close texting friend left. She’s close to my age and married. I have no interest in a romantic relationship with anyone. I just want friends. So we’ve exchanged 1000’s of texts. Probably over 10 thousand. But not once have we done a facetime or webcam thing. Lately she’s been sending me photos of the moon, so I asked her to send me a photo of her and the moon. She said definitely. Next day she sends me a photo of only the moon, not her. My heart is sinking at the thought that she (he?) is a catfisher. Am I getting paranoid? It’s starting to seriously freak me out because I don’t have one single friend in this entire world that I can say is not a catfisher. Oh, one more thing. A few years ago I had another online friend. We exchanged zillions of emails, but I started getting that gut feeling that she wasn’t being honest. Maybe this was wrong of me, but I asked her as polite as possible to send me a photo of her holding a piece of paper with my name on it. She like exploded on me and said goodbye. I would never explode on a close friend and end the long term relationship if they asked me to do that. Was I wrong for asking her to do that? I would have no problems facetiming or skyping friends.

I can understand why you're feeling kind of paranoid. I don't think there was anything at all wrong with you asking your friend to provide a picture of herself, and I think it's odd that she exploded on you for asking.

Over many years I've been really active on several forums and on every one there were one or two people (during my time on the forums) that were catfishing. Sometimes they were trying to get money from other members, but usually they were just broken people.

The situation that has happened here on PC is so sad.

The thing to remember - what I tell myself - is that almost all people are honest about who they are and how they present themselves. Just as in real life, however, there are those very few who lie...for whatever reason. But most don't lie.

Thanks. I agree that the ones who are not in it to take your money or something are broken people. They should find a social site where fantasizing about being a young girl or whatever is welcomed. I wish the admins here would find a way to eliminate catfishing. I don't feel safe online anymore, but I'll try to take your advice and trust most people are honest. BTW, doesn't twitter have something called verified account? Not sure if that's the same thing. I thought about uploading a short video of me saying Hi Psychcentral and post the link on my PC About me page but I'm afraid people will think I'm being too weird or something.

I'm sorry you were so affected by the actions of one person. It was very wrong of them to do that but please remember that 99% of the people here are not misrepresenting themselves.

Yes, I think that situation impacted a lot of people. It hit me especially hard. I even suspected you were a catfish. I apologize for that. I hope you are doing okay and I wish you the best.

I don't know about Twitter (verified account). I think that if you want to post a video of yourself that would be fine. And fun! I used to have my photo in my profile, but then I felt kind of uncomfortable, just in case someone I know posted on PC. I wouldn't necessarily want some people I know IRL to know that I'm on meds and such.

Hm what an honor it would be if someone wanted to catfish me but I can't imagine anyone wanting to be me. I'm def not a catfisher!

Same here. I had a bunch of personal photos of myself here but then left the site and deleted all of them. And recently came back because it looks a bit safer here lately so I uploaded one photo of myself.

I just looked at your photo- nice! You're handsome.

Hi,

I typically keep my self-identity anonymous online due to one bad experience on the internet. I didn't know what cat-fishing is until I read this thread and looked up the term. I'm really sorry that happened to you.

I've been on the internet a long time, and been hoodwinked (the old term for catfished?) a few times...

It hurts at the time, but as Nammu said, most people on here are real. You will develop your muscles in time. I like to think I can spot a scammer, and I have a good record. Also, if you get taken by someone (NEVER GIVE MONEY ONLINE), it just shows you are a nice and trusting person and they are doing bad things to good people.

I recently quit a board I was posting on for months because the people of the board were ganging up on my subtly and mysteriously.

I tried to address the situation, but got no straight answer.

It's alright, f*** them.

"AmandaBroken", now known as "Jeff" played a lot of people here and did a lot of damage. The fake account of the car accident, with details, had triggered a lot of people, as well.

On the current profile page, "Jeff" asks for a second chance, after offering yet another detailed life story, hoping people will feel sorry for "him."

I hope admin does not grant this person a chance to come back. This person clearly does not care how much damage "he" does while fabricating sad stories and manipulating members of PC to the max.

Many people have been hurt. Many express feeling "unsafe" and/or "distrust" of interactions at PC now because of "AmandaBroken"/"Jeff."

If "Jeff's" newest life story is true, and I doubt it is, "he" can go elsewhere on the net to obtain support.

There needs to be accountability for "his" actions.

I love this community and am saddened it has been harmed. Many are now feeling very "unsettled" and/or "unsafe" here now.


WC

I remember a story told by a nun in AA. She starts off basically saying there are jerks everywhere.

Sorry that you've been hurt and no longer feel comfortable. I'm sad about what happened but I've been on here for quite a while and this was the first time I've seen this happen here. Usually people on here are honest. There's no sense coming here for support if you aren't honest. This is still one of the best sites to come to.

I hope you can feel safe with most people on here. I've never experienced catfishing before. I guess a place like this is obvious where many 'broken' people come for support. But what they get out of it, instead of just being themselves, is hard to understand.

I've been on here for nearly 2 years and found this site very helpful in times of crisis. I've made good friends, learnt a lot, enjoyed the games and generally got a lot of pleasure from being a member of this community. But an alleged 61 year old pastor posing as a young gay wealthy woman qualifying as a psychologist, posting excessive amounts to the point of spam, has freaked me out. I need some time to think about all this. Hugs to all.

I'm feeling almost awkward because I'm not all that shaken up by the 'event' on this forum. In some ways, I'm reminded of my mom, who frequently told strangers 'stories' about herself...things she'd accomplished, exotic places she'd visited...all lies. The poor woman must have had such rotten self-esteem; really hated herself, deep inside - or had a very poor sense of identity at all.

And then I was on a forum, years ago, and two members during the couple of years I was there catfished (one for money, the other for whatever reasons). I remember the first catfisher- it was a shock!! I was really upset and felt terribly betrayed. I feel betrayed even when I think about her now.

A second forum I was active on - it was a terrific, vibrant forum - it turned out the two people who ran the forum were embezzling money from members who donated to a supposed charity. Mostly, I felt really sad for all of us who had to deal with the closure of the forum when it happened.

Stuff happens online, but I don't know that it's more common than IRL. So many people are in pain in the world. It seems like a lot of the pain, a whole lot of it, comes from self-disgust. I just can't get away from the sadness I feel when I witness someone who hates him/herself enough to assume an identity. Maybe it all goes back to standing there as a little girl and hearing my mom make up stories, tell people the things she'd tell them, and I'd stand there and sure, I felt embarrassed, but I just felt so sorry for her...it was as though what she was really telling the world, through her tales, that she believed she was a nothing, a nobody.

Maybe I shouldn't say so, but I'm not all that shocked or upset at all. AB/Jeff was sincere it seemed to me, whoever s/he was. She reached out to me when I was really upset, and that was a genuine gesture. Am I really stupid that her deception doesn't shock me? I don't know.

Hi Angelique, I understand, and I kind of feel the same way. The person reached out to me several times, too, in a very kind way and I don't think that kindness was insincere. It's easy, for someone in a certain mind-state, to reach out and strike at others. But AB/Jeff didn't do that...s/he was very supportive of others, just so self-destructive by turning hate on him/herself.

Call me cold but that's not what I saw at all, I saw a manipulator who was playing on people's emotions. That support was just a hook to draw people in.

Yeah, I can totally understand how you perceived the person. I guess since we each come from different experiences, and have different personalities, it follows that we each perceive others in different ways.

I don't think there's a right or wrong way to perceive someone's catfishing. And I'm not saying it doesn't anger me, because it does...it bothers me that that person hurt a lot of decent people on PC. And I worry, because I wonder who else online or IRL is that person is lying to?

It's just that, overall, I feel like that person is so damaged, so broken...there's nothing worse than not having an identity, and having to make one up. It is so, so pitifully sick.