Feel like this is my end..

I really need to vent/talk to someone right now or else I think I might actually lose myself.

I suffer from SEVERE health anxiety (and have been for 2 years now). It all started when I noticed a rash on my thigh, researched it, and convinced myself I had leukaemia. So for a year and a half I was worried about that every. single. day. It got to the point where I wasn't leaving my room and staying in bed all day. So I decided that it was time to see the doctor. Went to my doctor and talked to him asking about dizziness I was experiencing at that time and he said it was all anxiety. He did give me a form for bloodwork to clear things out there too (hormone issue, any disease...). Went and got the bloodwork done, results were 100% normal. So now my fear of leukaemia was gone but a new one started (brain tumour). So, 2 days after my bloodtest, I had a massive panic and had to go to the ER because again I was convinced I had a brain tumour. Went to the ER, told the doctor about my fears. He checked my eyes, balance, memory, and asked about my bloodwork results. I told him they were all normal and he was 100% sure it was anxiety. Before I left the hospital I made sure to ask him that if I did have a brain tumour would it show on the bloodtest and he said yes, to which I believed for like 4 days. Online all says only MRI's can show it. SO for about 3-4 months I was okay, still feeling a bit of balance issues but nothing major. Fast forward to this year. About 3 weeks ago I went to my therapist (hadn't seen her in 2 months) and towards the end of the session I felt as if I was about to pass out but I didn't. When I got home I tried to convince myself that it was because I wasn't breathing right and was very nervous but nothing helped. So ever since then I've been thinking about that every second of every day. Im getting symptoms like off balance, feeling like my heart is stopping, tingling of the face, and crying very easily. SO again 2 days ago I went to the ER and again was told it was anxiety. So thats 3 doctors telling me it's anxiety, and yet I'm not convinced because I have not gotten an MRI. The doctor said I would have more severe symptoms than the ones I'm experiencing now. So yeah, I'm an absolute mess. Im going to a different therapist (one more intense) soon but I don't think I can live like this anymore. Ive fully convinced myself I'm going to die any second from an undiagnosed brain tumour. Im feeling EVERY LITTLE MOVEMENT in my body. I feel even something as little as a hair on my forehead like it's something massive.

I also noticed that I have to either shake my leg, move my arms, or do something so that I don't sit still and feel whatever I feel.
I really need some help, anything would help. Anything. Thank you everyone.

I hear you. Hope you're still there. Wish I had something more than that to offer but I don't.

Your nervous system and mind need a serious break. Do you have anything you like to do that's so fully engaging you don't have time to think? Something physical? Dancing? Swimming? Hiking? When I get stressed like that, I cannot endure it. The only thing that gets me to some level place is physical activity. I've got a dog and a house, so they give me lots of things to do (walking, yard work, hauling stuff).

I am sorry this is happening to you. If it were me, I think I would search out all the physical effects anxiety can cause to help me convince myself that it is anxiety, while preparing to find a good therapist that can help me believe it is anxiety causing a myriad of unwanted physical symptoms and to help me manage the anxiety. Best of luck to your

Some of what you describe is how anxiety manifests in me. I agree with ruh roh in terms of trying to find an activity that soothes the system in some way. Lately, I have found weeding my yard has allowed some of that soothing by activating a different element of my OCD like traits. Not sure if it is healthier but my body is calmer.

Also, if you really feel it is the only way... in my neck of the woods there is an imaging center that doesn't require doctors orders but you have to pay out of pocket. I'm not sure if they'd do brain, it's mostly for sport injuries - knees, hips, back to help determine appropriate physical therapy.

Do you think it would help to take anti anxiety meds?
I've never taken them but I've been offered. I think they don't help everyone but they help some people. Because going through that amount of anxiety must be a horrible and difficult thing.

I have the exact same symptoms as you and I believe it's anxiety.

Perhaps try anxietyzone.com? I go there when I'm pretty bad.

I agree that it is likely anxiety. Do you have a pdoc to evaluate you for possible medication? I hope you get things straightened out.

I've had episodes of acute anxiety regarding health issues. What I needed most at those times was a bit of breathing room so I could think rationally. Anti-anxiety medication calmed me enough so I could use cognitive behavioural techniques to dismantle my obsessive fears.

Can you speak with your therapist about medication options? You seem to be in a state of constant hyperarousal for which meds could provide much needed relief. I highly recommend The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook once you get to a place where you are able to start challenging your thoughts.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/16262...ob_neva_mobile

What you're going though is so difficult. Try to remember that the physical symptoms you describe are manifestations of anxiety. I hope you find relief soon.

if your symptoms went Away for a while and then came back when you got more anxious then it is caused by anxiety. I am glad you are thinking of a new T. After so many years, fresh eyes might not hurt.

When I get super anxious and panicky I notice EVERY TINY ANYTHING about my body. It sounds a lot like what you've described. I am so focused on finding weirdness that I find it everywhere. It's an awful feeling. I am so sorry. You're not alone in these feelings. When it happens to me it is 100% anxiety. (Although if someone were to say that to ME when I felt like that, I would still think I was the freak occurance where I am the one person who will die instead of it being anxiety. Lol) Hang in there.

I once had an anxiety attack that mimicked a heart attack so well I was given nitroglycerin. That was a weird experience.

Now when I found out I'm actually sick with something it's like,"Well, okay, that happened..."

Meds help quite a bit, but also a lot of therapy.

Are you on any kind of anti-anxiety medication? If not, you should talk to a psychiatrist about getting some.

I used to have panic attacks that sent me to the ER because I was convinced there was something wrong with my heart. I felt I might pass out, my whole body tingled like it was "asleep," my heart raced, etc. I went to the ER several times. I genuinely felt like something was physically wrong with me and I felt I was on the verge of death. Now, looking back, I see it was panic attacks.

I am on an anti-depressant that works against anxiety and it has been life-changing. LIFE-CHANGING. I really encourage you to go see someone at and at least see if it might be worth a try. You don't want to live with this if something so simple as medication could help it all go away.

Which one?