[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Alright, I'll say a little more about myself. I'm struggling at the moment with extreme anxiety. A violent parent many years ago makes relationships with authority figures difficult for me. How do others cope with conflict and aggression in the workplace, when you're defences are so weakened?

[Travelinglady]

It is hard. If you don't mind my asking, have you considered therapy? It's been a life saver for me.

[Shazerac]

Have you looked for some kind of help? A therapist, or doctor. Perhaps you could try reading some books on coping with anxiety. There's a book called "Healing the Child Within" that I found helpful to deal with, and heal from my experience of a hellacious childhood.

Somehow you need to find a way to heal from the trauma of an abusive parent and then move past it. Your life will be a lot easier and joyous if you can find a way to do this.

[Sunflower123]

Is it the whole environment, a handful of people or one person?

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

It is hard. If you don't mind my asking, have you considered therapy? It's been a life saver for me.

Yes, I've had quite a bit of therapy in the past, and it has helped. I'm pleased to say that I was able to recover from anorexia, and I'd been suffering from it for many years, so that's a good thing to remember, I suppose.

But it's difficult in my part of the UK (I'm the one who started the thread called 'Back to Begging my GP for Help... Oh, Joy').

Basically, people seem to be on a waiting-list for a year, just to get a short course of CBT. That's an awfully long time when you can't face the next day...

Charities are hard work and slow and you have to compete so hard and I'm already exhausted.

The last time, out of desperation, I paid for a short private course, and it took the last of my savings.

I realise how negative I sound...

It's already helping, reading other people's stories in various places here. Today I thought (for the first time I can remember) that it's just not worth it, being in such agony all the time. I imagined what it would be like to just quit.

To a person who felt so totally trapped and stuck and frozen, even having that thought is something...

Thank you. I really appreciate you stopping by.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Is it the whole environment, a handful of people or one person?

Thanks, Jennifer. Yes, it's just one person.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

Have you looked for some kind of help? A therapist, or doctor. Perhaps you could try reading some books on coping with anxiety. There's a book called "Healing the Child Within" that I found helpful to deal with, and heal from my experience of a hellacious childhood.

Somehow you need to find a way to heal from the trauma of an abusive parent and then move past it. Your life will be a lot easier and joyous if you can find a way to do this.

You're a lovely person, to offer this heartfelt advice, and I'm truly sorry your childhood was hellacious.

I have read a lot of books, but not for a while, so I'll look into this one, if you think it's good.

Shaz, you have no idea (or perhaps you do) how frustrating it is, to have put a lifetime of work into recovering from those early experiences (I escaped! I had adventures! My relationships are loving and safe!) only to feel suddenly back to square one.

What has it all been for, if I'm walking along a busy road on the way home today and all I can think about is jumping into the traffic?