[c21h22]

I've tried to explain this to many people, but, all fail to come to a conclusion on why it is I feel the way I do when I have my anxiety attacks, so I question whether or not anyone shares this experience or if it is extremely irregular.
When I have my anxiety attacks which are fairly common I'd say, I have multiple a month. They build up for days, and days, then I finally outburst. When I express them outwardly, I become completely detached from everything and seems as if I lose all control over my body, emotions, brain etc. But, I also simultaneously feel the most control I've ever experienced. I feel like I have nothing to worry about in the world. It starts with anger, I commonly flip my bed over completely, slam my fists into my wall/door/floor until they bloody, then I break down and cry for a very short period, then I have what as I describe as an addiction. I look forward to this part of my attacks, I have intense hysteria and laugh uncontrollably for a while and I clean up everything I just did, tidy everything up, then have a hot shower and I'm completely fine. I've never spoken to anyone with anxiety as well, so I don't know if this is normal. Feedback would be appreciated, I'm fairly concerned.

[Sunflower123]

Hello. Welcome to PC. Have you been evaluated by a professional? You may find it beneficial.

[c21h22]

No, I haven't. I'm waiting until I'm legally an adult, my parents and I share the fear of going to see a professional about mental health because my little brother was diagnosed with bipolar personality disorder, and they had him on lithium and turned him into a zombie.

[GADNic]

I'm not a Dr but that sounds like bipolar disorder rather than anxiety, I strongly suggest you see a Dr and start your healing process xx