[Foo Fighter]

I had a bullying former manager who did a number on my self esteem, confidence and mental health. Ever since getting canned I still feel I can't trust my new employer even though he has told me no one is going to do such things. I think it's because the former employer used to be nice and then she became progressively rude and nasty. I could not talk to her as everything I said was dismissed pretty much. I had a meltdown in my new bosses office because I thought he was going to fire me. I did something wrong but since it's probation they can sack you for any reason. He said I need to talk to you and I felt sick and wanted to cry. Cried in his office and shook like a leaf. He called me down and said he just wanted to do a thirty day eval and discuss what happened yesterday. I feel like an idiot for doing this but it is scary for me. My former employer would say I need to talk to you and I would hide for the day because it would be another ruinous "everything is your fault and I wonder if you are learning disabled since you don't get it." I nearly threw up because she said I need to talk to you. I thought she was going fire me there! Ever since just heating those words sets me off. I thought about asking my new boss (I do like him, he said I was hired for a reason and that everyone is glad to have me aboard.) if he could just explain he needs to talk to me but say "I need to go over your eval or I just need to go over this in the office with you" instead of I need to talk to you. I kind of feel like that's asking too much but I don't want to have a panic attack in his office over nothing (or at all). Thanks.

Jesus. Strange anticipation and anxiety and actions. I need to re-read your message and translate it into English. It reads, now, as if written in some Grand Prix Speedfest language. So, just wait.

Now.

1. You’re recalling your previous manager, who bullied you and caused you damaging mental distress.
2. You were fired from the job with this manager? The bully?
3. You have a job with a new employer. You’ve told him about the bullying you suffered because of your previous manager’s behavior.
4. Your new employer has assured you that you will not encounter those types of behavior... by him?... in your new environment? (Fuzzy on this one!)
5. You do not trust your new employer (or others in your workplace?) to refrain from bullying you.
6. You’re previous manager was was nice to you but, over time, became “rude and nasty” (and bullying?). She didn’t value your input.
7. THERE IS A BIG HOLE HERE.
8. You fell apart in your new employer’s office because you believed that he was going to fire you.
9. (Is this the back story?) Before #8 occurred you made a mistake (“did something wrong”). Because you are in a probationary setting the new employer can fire you at any time.
10 When your employer asked to see you, you felt ill and you felt like crying.
11. In your employer’s office you cried and shook.
12. Your employer calmed you down and told you that he wanted to accomplish a standard project.
13. So, in a nutshell, the words “I need to see you in my office” makes you very anxious and you would prefer for your employer to give you an idea of why he wants to see you - “Oh, see me about Project X, by the way.”

I don’t see anything wrong in telling your employer about your past experiences and ask him to be a little more specific when he wants to see you.

Are you seeing a doctor now? A psychiatrist or therapist? You seem to be at the height of anxiety.

[Foo Fighter]

Oh ****, I typed that out way too fast didn't I? Sorry! The takeaway point is I don't want to have a panic attack if my new boss asks to see me. I felt stupid about it after. He did did say I am way too hard on myself and had confidence issues but other than that was doing fine. Next time I'll see if I can ask if he can be more specific, like you said.