so.

I'm having some anxiety about my friend rachel going away to see a friend next week.

Possible trigger:

so, my friend rachel has an eating disorder, and last week she collapsed (twice), through lack of food- and the second time ended up in the hospital.
when she came back (on the wednesday morning), I did manage to make her eat something
but after that she stopped again, and because of it she keeps fainting.

this has caused me to do a lot of checking up on her, and to get extremely worried when she stops moving (what goes through my mind is, is she just asleep, or is she ill?), and I usually go in to a panic and start tapping her arm and saying.... rach, rach, are you their?

usually she snaps right out of it, and is as right as rain

well: next week she is going to her friend natalie's for 4 days, and as part of the stay, she is doing a judo class, and a zumba class (I really don't agree with that because of how she is feeling, but okay)

what I'm really worried about is that I won't be able to check on her every day, and I won't know how she's doing.

i've not met natalie, but I've heard rachel talk to her on the phone- and most of the time it's angry words (god knows why she is actually going)

I don't think I'm afraid that natalie's going to hurt her, more so that A I can't check on her, and B, the only thing she's eaten this week is something I managed to make her eat

4 days without food is a long time... and if she's really going to go ahead with the zumba and the judo, dangerous also

on thursday, I stayed with her until 12 30 A.M, because I was so worried about her. she eventually told me it was okay to go, she was okay (even though she'd stopped moving that night 3 times), and I did go- but I do worry about next week.

I know I can't really protect her from what she wants to do (go and see natalie and do those classes), but I just want to tell her to stay behind and start feeling better before she does some serious damage.

[Nike007]

I’m sorry about your friend. I have recently made friends with someone with an ED, and they currently taking time off of school due to medical leave from the ED.

Is there any way your friend could look into a treatment program? Like a full day treatment program to get back into better help? Are they doing therapy? Therapy is the main method for EDs, or at least anorexia nervosa. My friend said that DBT has really helped her, but she also has co-morbid conditions too.

You can’t control what your friend does, whether it is the right thing or not. They are their own person. You may tell them it’s a bad idea, and in reality it’s a bad idea, but their illness would tell them otherwise. Like with the exercising thing, if people with anorexia are forced to eat, generally speaking, they will try to lose the calories in some way, such as exercising. Even though they shouldn’t be exercising, they think they need to lose weight or have less calories.

I know it’s tough when a friend is going through a tough time, but you are being a good friend. There is not much else you can do but to support your friend. You aren’t her babysitter though, just to let you know. But it’s good that you care for your friend a lot.

I hope your friend gets better soon, and their trip to their friend’s house is also good.

[Wild Coyote]

You are a good friend.

It's tough to watch those we care about make some decisions with which we may not agree.

All you can do is to express your concern and let her go without strong opposition.

She is lucky to have you as a friend.


WC