[wantlove]

I want some real advice on here…many comments. I need feedback because I’m depressed. I was taken or I should say ripped from my family and home 3 times by CPS when I was a little child (10-12). It wasn’t for a good reason- failure to attend school. I was scared to even go outside of my house to play a lot of the time because I was scared I would be snatched by psychologically abusing CPS workers. CPS workers forced me to lie about abuse, including sexual abuse, just so they could win their case or look better in court. They had me sit for hours repeating their stories until I got them correct. I am a horrible person for lying about sex abuse and I used to think no man would love or trust me if he found out. I just wanted to go home and be loved.
I thought I had gotten over it but lately, the emotional pain and trauma are hitting me all over again (I’m in my late 20s). I’m afraid to have children because I don’t want to lose them and have them have to go through the trauma I did (of being removed). I don’t even want a husband or boyfriend. It is difficult for me to form meaningful relationships. I feel like I’m no good because of this and that I’m not worthy of love. Please guide me, in any advice you can, how to forget about this. I think about this every day and I don’t want those experiences to ruin my life. Please help? Also, please read about my experiences before you call CPS ON ANYONE.

[Skeezyks]

I'm so sorry you had to endure all of this. My history is completely different from yours. But I have my own boatload of disturbing memories that keep washing back over me. So I think I perhaps have at least some small sense of what you're dealing with.

You asked how you can forget what you went through. But, of course, you can't. And trying to block the memories in some way or another is likely to simply cause them to keep coming back stronger & more frequently. What is likely to be best for you is going to be to explore all of this, at length & in depth, with the help of a skilled mental health therapist (assuming you're not already doing so.)

The primary technique I use for dealing with my own intrusive memories / thoughts is something called: compassionate abiding. Here's a link to a description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

And, beyond that, here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to let go of a painful past:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/learni...ys-to-move-on/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/learn-...give-yourself/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/lettin...ful-over-time/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...nful-emotions/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-steps-to-serenity/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...-event-1-of-2/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...dium=popular17

My best wishes to you...

[Sasqautch]

I had bad experiences as a teen when i was locked up in their care , They hire some of the most terrible and dishonest people. From being called dumb and slow and an idiot because i had bad anxiety and would withdraw from people to staff members having sexual relationships with under age teens in the cell block. A person who was a criminal from the same place and a prolific car thief and burglar was hanging out with me and a friend ten years ago we go to his home and he is in a full on relationship with a child services lady who looked after me and him when i was 16.


The sad thing is this stuff is rampant worldwide and its the kids who suffer over and over again. An episode from deadly women will have you in tears on the failure of child services in Australia.

I too was placed in care when i was a teen at a nasty ladies house who locked me in a room full of adhd brats , She said here is one sandwich its all you get until tea which i think was one more sandwich , i was ready to jump out the window (and i should have my life would be way different) when police came back and had to send me to a place with people of my age group , So off i went to meet the worst person i could have been living with and was in kids jail hence the story above.


And all i wanted was my mom to come bring me home before all that started instead i was left to be cared by child services. Could have all been a different story of me at home safe instead i was left to live with kids with drug issues and crime problems and become a criminal along with them.