[ItsDanielle]

So back December, I smoked marijuana for the first time. Nothing happened, I was fine.

I smoked it a second time around February. That time, though, I had wayyy too much. It was so much that I was claustrophobic, I wanted the feeling to stop, and ended up having a panic attack (I didn't know it at the time).

My symptoms were:
- passed out (I fell to the ground)
- racing heart
- sweaty hands
- tingly and numbness everywhere
- vision was fuzzy
- everything slowed down, it came it waves

IT LASTED FOR HOURS.

The day after I felt way different. I thought it was because I smoked too much. It felt like it wasn't real life. I didn't tell anyone except my friends about this. About a week or so later I realized that it was a panic attack.

Every time my friend would bring it up again, I would get anxious because I didn't want to experience that again.

Towards the end of the school year, I was having a lot of family issues and finals at the same time. One specific morning, the day before finals, I remember waking up and noticing that I couldn't really feel my face. It was odd. I went to class and started Googling what that could be. It came up with stroke, heart failure, etc. etc. Immediately I started to freak out, everything started to slow down, heart racing, palms sweaty, weak. I felt like I had to pass out.

I was wheelchaired out of class and taken home. After that, for days upon days, I didn't feel normal. It didn't feel like real life at all. I had about 3 more panic attacks that day. I wasn't able to move or be touched because tingles would shoot thru my body.

My mom took me to the ER because I still wasn't better.

They gave me some sort of sedative and I was so scared I was going to feel the "marijuana" high from the medication. My mom offered me Xanax the next day but I was terrified it was going to alter my consciousness (make me feel high), so I would only take a 1/4 of the pill. My mom also scheduled me for a doctor's appointment, but we canceled it because I felt better. We thought my anxiety was from school & the family issues.

Recently it has started up again. My mom started talking about death and since then I've been super anxious. I started to have a panic attack in a restaurant. I don't want to go to the doctor. I don't want to take any medication. I don't want to be prescribed anything because I fear that relaxing meds will make me feel like the marijuana did (that's what medical marijuana is supposed to do :/ ) and cause me another panic attack.

I really don't know what's wrong with me. The biggest thing is it doesn't feel like real life. Every time I think about it... I started to freak out again.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.

hi, and welcome to PC.

firstly what are your thoughts about death?. you said in your post when your mother talked about it you were super anxious. do you think that maybe their are some fears you have about death that havon't been addressed? (death is a scary thing, anyway). it's normal to have some anxiety about death.

no one on this site can diagnose you

all I can say is, not all the medications are the same. not all of them will give you the same affect, and actually some can really help you with your panic attacks

I know you had a bad experience, and that must have been so hard for you. did you talk to anyone about it? (like a councelor or therapist)

if someone mentions a medication to you and you're unsure about it, you could always post here asking for experiences of it (we have a forum for medication), or you could look up yourself the side affects- then you can make your own decision about it

good luck!

[MoodyMountain]

I'm sorry you had a bad reaction to marijuana. They are not as uncommon as proponents like to think. It can even trigger psychosis in some, rarely. Your 'not feeling real' makes me think you should talk to a professional about that. Anxiety and paranoia are pretty common, and I've experienced them even with a lot of experience smoking.

Mindset and setting are really important when considering marijuana or any other psychedelic experience. They can make the difference between relaxation and paranoia, or a panic attack like yours.

I would say benzodizepines like xanax are nothing like marijuana. Marijuana is really variable in effect, it can be different based on strain, situation and the person who's using it. Benzos are more straight forward, maybe the strength varies, but they are downers and they stay that way. I personally find them kind of clinical and boring, and the one I take (temazepam) pretty much just makes me sleepy. They are completely different receptors, GABA for benzodiazepines and Cannabinoid receptors for marijuana. Benzodiazepines are a LOT closer to being drunk than being stoned, they operate on the same receptor as alcohol. They use benzos to detox alcoholics! My wife's old psychiatrist used to gauge patients response to benzos in terms of how many beers it took them to get drunk.

You might want to try meditation, or mindfulness, especially if you can't bring yourself to take meds. Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which involves mindfulness, is being used for everything these days and you might find that useful.