[kachow80]

I have this complex where I constantly judge and compare myself to other more smart and capable people. It's reached such an extreme that I often find myself lingering on dumb and embarrassing moments that I've found myself in in the past and It gets to a point where I feel almost physical pain as my brain picks and tears through such stupid decisions. How do I get over this overwhelming anxiety of judgement and ridicule? I can't live up to my own standards and my confidence deflates in the snap of a finger if I get even the most minute out-of-place look by another human being. I ask myself "What am I doing wrong? Why did that person take the time to try and examine me and my actions?" It might have been just a random glance at me and the logical part of my brain wants to admit that this is true but I can't help but feel like I am constantly judged by everybody and that what I'm doing in comparison to other people is alien or wrong and out of place. I have such a hard time making friends because I'm too worried that I won't live up to other people's expectations or that I won't be as smart as them. It get to an almost manic state of being; I almost want to call it paranoia. My face looks like as if nothing is wrong but in my head all of the alarms are going off as I rush to try and compensate for basic human interaction skills. After any conversation my brain is on fire trying to decipher if I said anything stupid or if I looked stupid, it gets overwhelming at times. A part of me thinks that this is just a phase as I'm only 19 but somehow I doubt I'll ever overcome this state of mind. Help?

[Skeezyks]

I've always been super-sensitive to others as well. It's one part of the reason I now live an almost exclusively reclusive lifestyle. You wrote you doubt you'll ever get over this state of mind. I think you probably can, although I would have to admit I never did... not entirely.

As I look back over my life, I can see where there were times that were better & other times that were more difficult. But the sensitivity was always there. I would hasten to add though that I never made any real effort to address my own problems in this area either. (When I was young, there was no help for this sort of thing.) I think you can follow a different path though.

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of things you can do to cope with social anxiety, as well as on the subject of the highly sensitive person which you may well be:

What Is Social Anxiety (Phobia)? How Can It Be Treated? | Fearless: Breaking Anxiety Down

6 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety

7 Ways to Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety

Top 5 Tips if you have Social Anxiety | Social Anxiety

What Makes a Highly Sensitive Person?

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-tip...sitive-people/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...sitive-person/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-gift...hly-sensitive/

I wish you well...