[JooneBug37]

A month ago, I (a 14 year old) saw probably the most vile, disgusting movie ever made. I’m not going to say what the movie is because I don’t want anyone else to watch it. Many ADULTS apparently couldn’t sit through the movie, and yet I, a 14 year old, watched it. I haven’t watched all of it, just enough to know I’ll never watch it again.
Anyway, after watching it and being disgusted, I kind of forgot about it. Until about a day ago, when I remembered it again.
After that, I went into anxiety mode. I was anxious for the rest of the day, I felt very gloomy, I lost my appetite, I felt tired (could this be part of the reason why I feel anxious?) but I couldn’t fall asleep, etc.
I felt like I was feeling way too anxious over just a movie. Could there be another reason I was this anxious?
Part of th reason I felt anxious about the movie seemed to be because I enjoyed some parts of the movie. My paraphilia(s) made me enjoy some aspects of the movies. Does anyone have experience with paraphilias here?
I feel like I’m sensing a pattern here. I get anxious over something. I eventually forget about it. About a month later, I get anxious over something else. Them I forget about it, etc.
Does anyone here have any advice on how to deap with any of this? Almost anything would be helpful

[Skeezyks]

Well... I don't really know anything about this. But I noticed no one had yet replied to your post. So I thought I would. (I don't know anything about paraphilias.)

Realistically I can't tell you why you are having the experiences you're having. But the answer to it, it seems to me, is to stop watching this stuff! I've always been sensitive to this sort of stuff too. I recall, as a child, seeing the orignal film version of "The Fly". I was SO DISTURBED my parents had to make up a bed for me in the dining room next to their bedroom & the living room. I don't know how long I slept there. But it was a while before I could sleep in my own bedroom upstairs again. And then, as a young adult, I remember walking out of the theater during "Rosemary's Baby".

My personal opinion is that there is a lot we can do to help ourselves, when we're struggling with depression & / or anxiety, including not exposing ourselves to graphic violence on TV, at the theater, & in video gaming. Yes, perhaps there are people who can watch this stuff & not be affected by it. (I don't believe that. But I'll grant it for the sake of argument.) For those of us who struggle with mental health issues though, it seems to me, this stuff is just like throwing gasoline of burning embers. And, over time, it can build up within the hidden recesses of our minds & show back up in numerous unanticipated ways I believe.

One of my personal pleasures nowadays is watching the BBC mysteries they show on our local public television station. By-&-large this stuff is pretty tame... especially by today's standards. But every once in a while, there'll be some (at least for me) quite shocking scene I wasn't expecting. (I'll spare you the details.) It sometimes takes me several days to get over it. And even now, if I happen to recollect one of these scenes, it can affect me all over again.

I suppose that doesn't really answer your questions. But these are my thoughts with regard to your post. I wish you well...

what about looking at the plots online before deciding to watch it

I do that sometimes to help with triggers