[MelonSoda]

I'm only 18 and this fear of death is ruining everything. I'm not religious and don't believe in an after life. I hate the fact and one day everything will just end and I'll be nothing.
This morning I was trying to fall back to sleep when the thoughts just attacked me and it was the worst yet. I felt so close to throwing up because of how sick I was getting.
Is there anything or anyway to ease this feeling?...or will I always fear death?..

Edit: it's also weird how I use to suicidal and just didn't care. I honestly would rather be suicidal and not care then live like this...

[Skeezyks]

I suppose there's a certain innate fear of death that resides in every living thing. I do think, at least in my case, it has diminished as I've aged. I'm not a religious person either. I accept the explanation for the existence of life on earth that is provided by the theory of evolution. (I used to say I was a spiritual person. But I'm not so sure that's even true really.) There's a wonderful video, on Youtube, of a person drawing a portrait of astrophysicist Neal Degrasse Tyson that I think is apropos here. The voiceover is Tyson speaking about how he views his relationship with the universe. Here's a link to that video:

One of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön's books is titled: Comfortable with Uncertainty. And in her writings she teaches that this is one of the goals of a spiritual practice (striving to be the best person you can be.) We can never know what may or may not happen... even in the very next moment. The reality is there is no secure place to rest... no sanctuary. And so we must strive to be comfortable with that & to rest in that uncertainty with lovingkindness, compassion, joy & equanimity.

What I try to do, perhaps one thing you could do, is to apply the practice Buddhists refer to as compassionate abiding. When thoughts of death & non-existence come up, or other difficult or disturbing thoughts as well, welcome them, breathe into them, & smile to them. Perhaps you might even place a hand over your heart as a sign of lovingkindness & compassion for them. And then, after a few moments, let the thought itself go & just continue to breathe into that underlying fear allowing it to fade away at it's own pace. (If you happen to be a person who has a meditation practice going the practice of compassionate abiding is a great adjunct to that.)

Two things happen when we apply the practice of compassionate abiding. One is that, over time, difficult thoughts or emotions become less troublesome. But second, & perhaps more important, we gradually strengthen our ability to simply accept whatever comes up just as it is. As the 11th century Tibetan Buddhist yogini, Machig Labdrön said: "In other traditions demons are expelled externally. But in my tradition demons are accepted with compassion." I wish you well...

[Guiness187055]

I too am like the Skeezyks. My fear of death as lessened as I have aged. I think it's a natural progression. I hope you get some peace.